Medium Happiness

I’m probably going to offend a lot of women, and maybe some men with this post, but oh well. I wanted to write about something that invariably nags at me each year, and that’s people’s insistence on adopting a trend despite its insanely high lame-o factor.

At any given time, especially in our fair city, you can find someone wearing something that’s coveted for some inexplicable reason. Status certainly doesn’t explain much because most of the trends of which I speak fall into the strange territory between the moderately affluent and very affluent. People who are super affluent buy things that are so expensive they never have a chance of being widely adopted. Being wealthy is a trend unto itself.

The second possible explanation of the adoption of a questionable trend is hipness. But again, this hypothesis breaks down and ultimately doesn’t explain anything. Judging by the examples I’m about to put forth, you can confidently dismiss the hipness theory because no one hip ever wore any of it.

A few highlights from the Yuppie Loser Lexicon

From left: Tory Burch, Burberry, and the impossibly expensive but basic down jackets by Moncler.

So what gives? Why do people adopt things so patently unremarkable that it designates them as lemming-minded unoriginal followers? I don’t know!

Anecdotally, this is the best non-explanation I can offer. When you were a kid you’d try to impress and emulate the cool kid on your block or the uber hip arty girl in ceramics class, or if it was your thing, the pea-brained meathead on your football squad. You might have bought a t-shirt like the one they wore or even cut your hair the same way. Then you got older and stopped aspiring . And that’s when you began turning  to the wretched girl, a few cubes over, for hints about what to buy and wear.

Hey look at me though, I’d like to be the kid skiing for a living, crashing on friends’ couches.