Medium Happiness

I’m going to paint with a broad stroke here and say that conservative female politicos are the most offensive people in the media. Their combination of cattiness and ignorance is a noxious mix.

Everyone knows Anne Coulter, who, lucky for us, went so cuckoo off the righty side that no one listens to her anymore. And then there’s Fox News’ Michelle Malkin, the devil incarnate. Search her name on YouTube and you’ll get a video montage of some of her finest hate-spewing ignoramus rants.

Here’s a photo of Malkin along with her new book “Culture of corruption.” She’s grotesque, and that’s really the cover of her book. No joke.

Ok, so now on to the real impetus for this post: Michele McPhee. I had no idea who McPhee was until yesterday when I read her reductionist, stupid,  editorial on the Obama-Crowley-Gates beer summit in Metro, one of NYC’s finest free subway papers. (Let me say that I am as sick of hearing about this story as anyone else, pardon the untimeliness of this post.)

Basically, McPhee is as good as it gets when it comes to reactionary political commentary. She’s the right-wing version of the vagabond who nails spikes into trees to stop logging and thinks we should all be able to buy cars and goods using wampum. In other words, her pea brain is incapable of processing and making reasonable decisions given the place and time in which we live (see reality). McPhee sees hears and barks without any kind of nuanced thought process. Such doglike behavior, coupled with her Southie accent and inarticulate speech, make her sound like an especially big bozo. If you’d like to listen to her bombastic take on the issue re: Gates and Crowley you can do so here. I won’t put you through it involuntarily.

So here’s what McPhee wrote in her Metro editorial:

I think there should be a White House beer summit every week.

Why fly to Venezuela to hug it out with Hugo Chavez like President Barack Obama did in April when the notorious communist dictator could just sit at the White House patio set and have a butler carry him out a Red Stripe on a tray?

Why fly all the way to France — with the entire family in tow on the taxpayers’ dime no less — like Obama did and deride Americans as “arrogant, dismissive and even derisive.” He could just invite his buddy Nicholas Sarkozy — the French president with whom he checked out a teenager’s rear-end at an environmental conference in Italy — and serve some Sam Adams.

Who needs to embarrass the United States by bringing the Queen of England an iPod and the English Prime Minister a box of DVDs that don’t work in Europe like Obama did? Pour them a beer. It would be cheaper if Obama could kick back on the White House lawn and fix the world’s problems over some pulled drafts and beer nuts. Obama could horrify the Queen by serving her a Guiness. Sarkozy could wear his tight swimming trunks like the ones he wore in New Hampshire.

Certainly it would be a better expenditure of our time to conduct real “teachable moments”  at the White House than the farce that took place last week in a desperate public relations ploy orchestrated by Obama and company after the president disgustingly declared that the Cambridge PD acted “stupidly” by arresting his good friend Skip Gates.

The only people who acted “stupidly” were Gov. Deval Patrick, the mayor of Cambridge, E. Denise Simmons, and Obama for railing against a cop trying to prevent a burglary at a home that had been burglarized recently on a street that had nine break-ins this year. There was about race to be learned on the lawn that day because race was never a factor.

And a free Blue Moon — like the one Crowley drank — is not going to assuage the feelings of angry cops across the country.

There’s not much you can say about an utter piece of shit like this. I guess we’ll start by trying to guess what’s she even trying to say :

Obama spends too much on diplomatic travel? I bet he’s spending way less on just about everything than the last guy.  Any kind of meaningful comparison on such a level would have required research, though.

Cops are immune to criticism? (a dangerous tendency that’s taken hold in the US the past few years) “Angry cops”? Since when aren’t most of them angry?!

Tight swimming trunks are gay/ effeminate? Maybe. But who gives a shit. At least Sarkozy can wear a skimpy bathing suit, which is a lot more than she can say for herself.

And now for her zinger at the end, which is some kind of triple negative or something:

“There was about race to be learned on the lawn that day because race was never a factor.” [sic, the omitted "a lot"]

Michele McPhee pictured above.