I’m here to sadly report that the treacle of a malt beverage, Zima, is no longer being produced.That’s correct, December will officially be the last month stores will stock it on their shelves.
This is an odd story, but when I was 14 or so, in a randomly tragic accident, a carfull of kids crashed into a telephone pole near my house, killing all but 1 or 2 of the 5 who were in the car. It turned out they all had been drinking Zima earlier that night, before the crash. During the months following the crash, Zima, which was brand new at the time, went from being a harmless, shitty-tasting malt beverage to a dangerous substance that got kids drunk without knowing it and killed them in car accidents. At least that’s how the local News covered the story. Parents became terrified that their kids were going to get their hands on some Zima and lose control. OMG
14 years later…when was the last time you saw someone drinking Zima? I guess there’s no real point to this story, just an odd anecdote. Anyhow, Zima, you won’t be missed.
On another note, if you’re interested in celebrating the entire mid-90s package, go to the store; get a sixer of Zima and catch Boyz II Men tonight. They are playing somewhere in Manhattan.
Cheers.
3 Comments
I miss Bartles and James.
Seems like every person I know has at least one Zima story, usually ending with some tragedy. Damn Zima, you ain’t got nuttin’ on no Cisco.
That is a fucking hysterical post. Never tried Zima, myself. My college freshman roommate was a big fan.
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