Just in case you needed it, you probably don’t, here is another example of how far off the mark the self-stroking wankers that review music on Pitchfork are: Consider their review of the self-titled debut record from the band Vivian Girls(clicky here to hear).
Last night, I was checking out the “Best New Music” section on Pitchfork (why I continue to do this I don’t know, it almost always ends this way) when I came across Vivian Girls. They were rated 8.3 or some bullshit. So, I illegally downloaded it for a go-around.
Pitchfork says there is no evidence of the “exhausted second-hand styles” that plague the current, over-hyped music scene on this record. My ass. The whole thing is contrived and completely unfun to listen to. Every song, with the exception of 1(out of 10), starts with the same played-out, tinny, swelling guitar chords and then digresses into a de-melodic frappe of emptiness.
Here, get a look at Vivian Girls. Does it look like anything remotely original is going to come out of these lezzy barf bags? No, it does not.
Here is the final paragraph from the official Pitchfork review. It pretty much sums it up.
“The trio nabbed its name from the heroines of outsider artist Henry Darger’s magnum opus, In the Realms of the Unreal. A sorority of vaguely fetishized hermaphrodite messiahs, Darger’s Vivian girls are some of the most slippery, troublesome figures in contemporary art, making the band’s appropriation a clever bit of self-mythologizing. The final track on their album, “I Believe in Nothing”, purportedly endorses nihilism. But it puts the lie to its own message with heavenly madrigals and a hooky refrain that’ll burrow into your brain and replay like a mantra until you do, in fact, believe in something. Even if it’s just this really awesome new band.”
7 Comments
Holy balls that band is horrible. They sound like a band that would open for some local band comprised of 40 year olds at the Haunt on a Tuesday night at 7pm. That last paragraph of the review made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. I can’t imagine how unbearable it would be to live with a self felating ass-hat like this reviewer. Can you imagine trying to listen to or discuss music in his presence? I think the self obsessed music snob is one of the most intolerable type of people to be around. They are the cancer of music.
They sound like a sucky Mary’s Danish, which wasn’t a great band to begin with.
Anthony: What’s wrong with local bands with 40 year olds? What have YOU ever done?
Played in a band at an age appropriate level in accordance with my talent. If you are in a band and old, you better be damn good. Being a shitty band and old is pathetic. You only get the pass of being shitty when you are young.
I really think it’s incredible how much Henry Darger has influenced pop-culture.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darger
Thank you so much for this. I live in NYC and play in a band which is so far from Vivian Girls it’s ridiculous.
People here hate us. The local media hates us. And they love The Vivian Girls.
We have some international fans, despite being very new, yet we’ll never break through NYC. It’s sad how utterly pretentious this scene is.
sounds like horrendous bands I played in when I was in 5th grade, but with chick vocalists.
“the most slippery, troublesome figures in contemporary art”
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