Tyson Foods Any’tizers
H. Christ, this morning I was on the treadmill in my building’s gym, running as best Sisyphus can, enduring Ann Curry’s saccharin, weird-out, brand of morning talk news when the welcomed reprieve of the commercials came, and I saw, for the first time, that Tyson Foods has a new frozen-re-heatable snack food on the market called—get this, Any’tizers. Yep.
I would love to have sat in on that meeting when some branding agency flew their team out to Springdale, Arkansas to present their strategy for how to get people to eat more processed, frozen foods. I bet it went something like this, “People associate appetizers with dinner. Nobody thinks about eating appetizers with lunch or breakfast? But…but, if we call them A-n-y-t-i-z-e-r-s people will eat them any time of the day, and then, still stuff themselves full of Poppers, Taquitos, and all the other wonderful hog food you offer.” Client responds, “Brilliant!” And now, we have Any’tizers. God save the queen.
5 Comments
God save our stomachs is more like it. But who am I to say? If it was 2 AM and I was high and in college, I’d probably consider eating this shit.
Touche. I am not saying I wouldn’t eat it. I’m a donut junkie for God’s sakes.
I got all excited when I saw the pictures until I looked closely and noticed that the’re NOT poppers. God save the poopers is more like it.
I just scarfed down a chocolate frosted donut, holy shit it’s good. My mouth can’t even work as fast as I want to eat this thing. I feel like Homer.
K’Tray, I thought you would be into these things. Oh well, you say popper I say pooper.
Sorry Medium. I draw the line at particle board, I mean chicken.
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