If Buddie Holly, Ritchie Valens and The Big Bopper’s death marked the day rock n’ roll died then the day Conan O’Brien left New York City was the day late night comedy died.
When Conan O’Brien left New York for L.A. to host The Tonight Show, a huge comedic void was left. Conan O’Brien rightfully earned his position amongst late night greats such as Carson and Letterman (despite having a killer car collection Leno is to comedy as Fun Dip is to a diabetic). Conan pushed late night comedy in new directions with daring off the wall zany antics and wildly entertaining interviews (the Martha Stewart ones are incredible). Conan amassed so many AAA clips through his years that you could spend two days on Youtube and just scratch the surface. It takes a hell of a talent to fill the shoes of a masturbating bear. Jimmy Fallon has skipped the shoes and instead filled the diaper with a laugh-less stream of rancid late night shit.
Fallon first honed his hackery on Saturday Night Live. During his time on SNL, Fallon managed to create such dynamic characters as Nick Burns, a sarcastic tech support worker who had the clever catch phrase, “Mooooove!”, which is coincidentally what my bowels tended to do while watching. Another immutable attribute of Fallon was his ability to consistently break character and laugh at himself during a sketch. This is not only insulting to the legacy of SNL, but offensive to former colleagues such as Tracy Morgan. Tracy Morgan is about as stable and sensible as a one legged paint huffer on a Tilt-O-Whirl and even he took offense to Fallon’s insistence on laughing all the god damn time.
Limited talent, clichéd personality, and an ability to offend his peers, what punishment did Lorne Michaels have in store for Fallon? Oh that’s right; give the giggling twat his own late night talk show. Late Night with Jimmy Fallon is comedic piracy at its best and ulcer inducing at its worst. Fallon co-ops so much of Conan’s work that I am surprised he didn’t change his name to Jimmy O’Fallon. Hilarious green screen skits with Conan and Andy are now poorly executed mumble fests with Fallon repeating the same thing over and over (while laughing at himself of course). The true poaching of Fallon doesn’t come at the expense of Conan though, Fallon has successfully poached and mangled as much of popular geek culture as humanly possible during his limited run.
If you took five episodes of VH1’s Best Week ever and boiled them down to the most obvious pop culture references and clichés, you would have three quarters of Fallon’s jokes. The Snuggie is equal parts relevant and hilarious right? Why not give every audience member a Snuggie and let the comedic genius ensue. Did you catch that? Did you catch how clever that is? Whatever, maybe I am being too hard on him, it isn’t like he has dipped into the septic tank of pop culture references that is Saved by the Bell, oh wait never mind he did. A Saved by the Bell reunion! ZOMG I need a “shit my pants font” to accurately portray how hard I am laughing just thinking of this ingenious idea. Dustin Diamond and Mario Lopez together again at last! If you can’t see the intricate comedic brilliance involved in this reunion, you are a normal human being. Only twenty-something frat-heads would find this even remotely entertaining. For fucks sake people, Saved by the Bell is absolute shit. I hate people who claim something is “awesome” simply because it was their only escape from their shitty childhood. Atari is not awesome, it only seemed awesome because the alternative was listening to your acid-washed parents discuss the finer points of Poison lyrics. If raping your childhood memories wasn’t enough to satisfy Fallon he has decided to destroy nerd culture as well.
Fallon has the nerd credentials of failing out of Computer Science before switching to Communications and a single horrid sketch about a tech nerd. Regardless, Fallon has jumped cankle deep into the nerd/geek world on his show. He has recently had a blogger from Engadget (demonstrating the Palm Pre), Alex Albrecht and Kevin Rose from Diggnation on his show. I both love Engadget and Digg yet Fallon has already tainted them. There is a difference between a talk show host embracing a variety of different guests and pandering/whoring to a specific demographic. Fallon and his producers are desperately trying to appeal to the “wired” or “tech savvy” or whatever the group is called these days (Nerdarati?). If you are a regular EWN reader you should know how sensitive I am to this recent trend in adopting nerd culture. The two things I love more than anything, comedy and nerd, are having the train run on them by a talentless mop-head cockbag. Fuck off Jimmy Fallon. I never once looked at a painting, listened to a song or watched a movie and thought, “I could do better”, but when it comes to poor interviews, raping of nerd culture and the comedic subtlety of the iFart app, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, you are so unforgivably abhorrent, I could do better.
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