Did Iran get a nuke? Did Kim Jong Il decide to direct Transformers 3 with zero CGI? Hadron Collider smash two bite-sized cookies together and create nibble-sized cookies? No, none of these events compare to the earth shattering, ball chattering news I read this morning. Hang your ass over a trash can because you are about to shit yourself, “Michelle Obama dared to show off her toned triceps and biceps in her first official photo as first lady.”
Did Iran get a nuke? Did Kim Jong Il decide to direct Transformers 3 with zero CGI? Hadron Collider smash two bite-sized cookies together and create nibble-sized cookies? No, none of these events compare to the earth shattering, ball chattering news I read this morning. Hang your ass over a trash can because you are about to shit yourself, “Michelle Obama dared to show off her toned triceps and biceps in her first official photo as first lady.”
People are going bat barf insane over Michey Bam Bam (my name for her) wearing a sleeveless shirt in her official Facebook avatar photo or whatever the hell it is. Pundits had insightful things to say such as, ” Most of the complaints centered on the dress conveying a sense of informality on a serious occasion…She’s kind of faced some criticism for that in the past where people have said maybe [her clothing is] distracting from the central point, from what is going on.”
Distracting from the central point? Really? Michey Bam Bam’s hand job cannons are the distraction? Fuck me, for a second I thought it was the 24 hour news drivel that spews forth from this country like a fountain of high definition diarrhea (now with Twitter). I obviously hate anyone who had to do with criticizing MBB on her choice of attire, because that is all it is, a choice of attire. This simple concept of choice, is the embodiment of this country’s principles. She did something with her freedom, she chose a look that was “out of season” (I have no fucking clue about fashion seasons. All I know is clean underwear is always in season) and she did something no other First Lady had done before, exercise. We would have had sleeveless First Ladies by now if they all didn’t have arms like a dehydrated Hickory Farms Summer Sausage (Jakie O is the exception).
It is pretty easy to draw a parallel to Islamic female dress codes and this outrage. One can either chuckle or cry over stories like these (I prefer the latter but normally in a jerk off – cry – jerk off sadness sandwich). How is it that in the fight against Freedom Hating Terrorists ™ we have ended up as a nation who has threatened our own personal freedoms far more than any Freedom Hating Terrorist ™ group ever has?
One last quote from the article, “When she was at the non-State of the Union address and had the sleeveless dress on, that was a bit of a surprise and I got some e-mails from some folks who were, you know, they work on the Hill and they were like, ‘Wow she’s sleeveless,’” Henderson said. “‘Nobody else is sleeveless here and it is the winter.’”
First off, who the hell wasted precious megabits of bandwidth emailing someone about MBB’s sleeve status.(ok, I am wasting Internets with this rant as well but at least I did a photoshop) Secondly, wearing less clothes is natural, and if you are a woman who isn’t a complete minger it is encouraged. What is unnatural is fucksacks wearing full suits in the sweltering summer heat. I am going to email Henderson everyday this summer about how ’surprised’ I am that someone is wearing a suit when it is so hot you could give fan boat tours of my ass it is so swampy. I am also going to blame any slip ups I have in my life based on the distracting Obama family attire. “Sir you can’t take a shit there, that is where the children finger paint.” “Fuck you hippie, Obama wore denim.”
(via ABC “News”)
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