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579 Comments
No way. This is going to rule. The retardedness of certain television programming can make for a much more relaxed lifestyle. I happen to enjoy the fact that I live in a society where food comes easily, giving the leisure time necessary for the production of such beautiful mindlessness.
Well done. Well done indeed.
Best post yet. Never did I imagine that the HADRON particle accelerator and Fallout boy could be mentioned in the same train of thought with such fluidity.
Turkeys are dumber than snot. If it wasn’t for the fact that they are flat-out fucking delicious (not to mention heart-healthy and low-fat, ladies!), they would have absolutely NO PURPOSE on this planet. I will admit, however, that this is a sad thing for sandwich lovers everywhere.
Hello…Man i just love your blog, keep the cool posts comin..holy Thursday
You must be joking. Michael, you are high.
But Fudgie is so damned BIG! How could something of that size have slipped through your fingers!
What is this song? I like it tons. I would love to get to work this way everyday, by the way. You think these guys grew up loving Spiderman?
BRILLIANT!
some other NYCHA tenants may know something.
ask on our WWW site
Wow. weirdo dreamo weirdo.
I don’t get it.
That bitch needs to be heavily fined. $10 for every pound the fat bitch weighs.
No person can deny the awesomeness of Target, though. I live in Brooklyn, just two Q stops away from the Target located at the Atlantic Center, and I love it. The only thing I would consider changing is moving CLOSER. The video game selection sucks, however.
Bold words from someone running a blog.
Well, if you’re going to leave a 2 year old behind, you couldn’t pick a better place.
Thanks for the shout out, Michael. Together, we will gain a support base of at least 10.
I, unfortunately, am one of those unfortunate folks who literally lives on top of this project. The only good/bad news is that I am usually awake before it starts to get to my poopy job on time.
Make that 3, Michael. Though I don’t tune in to your blog everyday, I think about it often. That should count for something.
I have a signed copy of his “view from the summit.” I’m really impressed with the guy as well. In addition to climbing Everest, he: did it without oxygen. skiied to the south pole, saw his wife die in a plane crash, spent years as a morphine addict but then quit. Unfortunately, it looks like he cheated norgay out of the glory of being recorded as the first man to summit.
Way to stand up for the little guy, Hungry Hungry Homer.
Very funny. I agree with him, although I’m not sure it’s the tragedy he feels it is.
The philosophy: If they come, we will build it; and if we build it, they will come.
The funniest thing here is that he says, “a pop star named Justin Timberlake.” Ha ha. That’s like saying, “a golfer named Tiger Woods.” Is there any other Justin Timberlake we should be worrying about?
The other thing to think about is this: The more the record company declines, the riper the market for the Shallow Divers to reign supreme over the music internet scene. Our day is coming…
Oh my. It’s a waste of time to even worry yourself about such things. Everyone is in the game to make some money, so you might as well like what you like and forget the rest. Life is to short to worry about whether or not Starbucks makes your music suck. Only the musicians can do that.
One of the best movies ever. Love George C. in this.
You would think, actually, that as tight as things are for them right now, they would want to conserve.
This is what my routine has been missing.
Why such small heads?
Funny. All that shiny, glowy, wondery goodness is the only reason I’ve been considering a switch from Bank of Stuperica. Truly.
Holy Jesus. A huge muscle-headed moron. Jeff Spicoli with definite gay overtones. I am spooked by this.
Just her blog name alone makes me want to vomit. But I mean, also, you know, LOOK at her. She’s gross. I guess it’s no surprise to anyone that many of the creative people out their can be just as repulsive as anybody else.
I’m so confused by the clip. Was that CHICK on CHICK alien love?? If not, which was the man? Oh well. Lawrence’s ignorance can only drive sales through the roof.
I would agree with many of these assessments–although with the National I think I may need a few more listens to get to the point where you are. Enjoy the piano in it, though. I just wish the songs varied more….I never know which song is which.
Obsessed with the Radiohead album.
Holy shit, I am WAY fucking behind in my music sampling. I had better get busy. Still, I doubt any of these bands have the fire burning in their guts the way Shallow Divers do.
I loved the Howlies, and to be honest I kind of miss watching the ballet people in their magenta ski jackets taking up space at the bottom of the hill. I never could master flipping over my poles like that. Great blog!
http://www.wellputrunonsentence.blogspot.com
You bought Raising Sand at Starbucks, didn’t you? Sellout.
It is awesome. I also do not know where to begin.
Agreed. I am full of hate.
That song is pretty cool. I’d like to mention, however, that his “spitfeul pansy” behavior on stage is limited to those engagements where he is playing with a band. I’ll only see him play solo.
A solid move by EMI. Talk about disaster with Qtrax though.
The volunteers look nervous. I suppose I would be to if a raging maniac was using me as a stand-in for a furious beating. My favorite line: “I’m sorry. No, I’m not. Bang, bang, bang.”
I’ve heard that the high asthma rates in impoverished neighborhoods are directly related to issues of poor craftsmanship and maintenance…ie tenants who have both less money AND scumbag landlords are more exposed to things like crumbling asbestos and mold in the ceilings and the duct work.
This is a problem in rural New England just like it’s a problem in urban New York.
I think that green house gas is a problem that effects everyone and it’s nice to see someone speaking out. Hopefully she’ll take on Bejing and Mexico City next.
I’ve been digging this site. Good for you for putting in the hard work and the time. And way to shout out Bas “El Guapo” Rutten.
HERE HERE. Well said.
I dunno.. I’d rather be [i]pushing[/i] this guys bike than listening to Chris Daughtry.
Never heard of it, but now I must get this game..
And of course Joe needs men in his porn… of course…
Ok, although I have been both good at DDR and overweight I don’t quite put myself in the same bubble as the chubby dancer. However, to his defense, he is just a youth who has found something he is good at. What differs him from the guitar wanker and the golfer is that he doesn’t have any pressure on him. The athletes more often than not, have loads of parental pressure and are living their “dreams” probably much less than their parents. The guitarist on the other hand is a slave to trends and others perception of him. As most people know, some of the worst offenders in a social group are the ones who can talk about nothing other than music. If I ever hear an actual person talk like a pitchfork review they are getting hit..hard.
So I agree with defending the video game kid. Even though video games are becoming more popular and socially accepted by the minute, they have been and still remain, a pseudo out cast activity. This kid found a personal talent (no different than golfing in my opinion) and he pursued it against “popular kid activities” and ridicule. Therefore, I see him as a kid pursuing a passion and hobby. He didn’t do it to be cool or for his parents but he didn’t it out of love for something, no matter how “lame” and dorky. In addition to this, the clicks involved in video games, especially DDR are very small and specific. He may not be the bell of the ball during high school but he still is likely to maintain a healthy social life, just scaled down. I obviously have a bias in regards to this topic but I still think my point is well founded.
One last thought, how can you remain a fat DDR prodigy for long? That game is exhausting on the highest difficulty levels.
Wow. How does a kid so fast on his feet stay so big?
Agreed. Assholes. They are penalizing people for liking their music.
I am a Sarah Silverman fan, and I DID find this hilarious. I don’t think many people can pull off her kind of simple, ironic, humor. I think I feel the same way about culture as she does.
OMG. I fucking love that so much I want to marry it.
Ah, God bless the Nature Boy. Look, he even appealed to “all y’all black folks out there”. A true beacon of tolerance and good. Btw, I am pretty sure I heard him call out Ricky Martin.
If this fucking guy starts a religion, I am joining. What I wouldn’t give to begin every Sunday morning with this!
He really does breath fire. They don’t make them like him anymore.
Does sphincter tone refer to the tone of your farts or the tone of the muscle? I think the former would be of greater concern.
“I’ve got more cars than you’ve got friends.” Love it. This is like the wrestling version of Alec Baldwin’s speech in Glengarry GlenRoss. I liked when Ric looked off camera after he made the Hershel Walker comment. Is Ric’s hair white or blonde? Either way, I wish I had it.
HAHAHAHA! Almost as funny as the “tagline song”
Fuck yes! Go, dog!
Oh man, that Malarchuck one is brutal. That most be seared into some poor kids brain who was sitting rink side.
I prefer Howard Jones.
That made me sad and sick. Did Malarchuck die from his injuries? I hate this kind of thing.
Surely these assholes know how they look??
I am so baffled by the whole slant flat top super gel douche spike hair cut. The fake tan is just too much. Why do they all pose the same way and puff out their lips? Oh god how dearly I want to hurt assclowns like this.
You sir, are a door mat.
At least I’m a good roommate and not the one everyone talks about behind their back for being lame.
so what are you saying? If i want to store stuff in the company refrigerator it should be considered free for the taking by anyone who might like it? Or is it just the labeling that bothers you, and you’re just saying I should remember which of the damn little plain brown bags is mine?
Pedro was annoying, but Puck was a filthy maggot. If he was ever in the same ROOM as my paper bag lunch I would have it burned and disposed of properly, wherever you’re supposed to put batteries when they die.
I think it is the labeling that is the biggest offense. If your roomies are scum bags, they are going to eat your shit no matter if it is labeled or not. All the label does is say, ” I am dying for a passive aggressive way to bitch at you” Who the fuck stores a can of soda? Slam that shit. In addition, the people who leave rancid food in the fridge for 5 weeks…they never label it,so you can’t take it and put it in their desk. Also, leaving it unlabeled makes it less likely to be taken in my opinion. If it is marked by someone in the office I don’t give a shit about, I would almost drink it out of spite. But if it is a mystery soda, I wouldn’t want to offend the coworkers I like. Oh jesus this is so complicated.
PS- if they take the time to make the label out of the little clicky gun plastic label makers, then the tables are turned and they are awesome.
I have to agree with zenpvnk. I don’t think I need to deal with some LAZY ASSHOLE who thinks, for whatever reason, that he/she can take whatever they want in this world without consideration of others.
I don’t label my shit, mostly out of laziness than anything else, but I don’t hold a useless and senseless grudge against those that do. Most likely those people have had something of theirs taken in the past.
It isn’t about storing shit. People strive to save money (yeah, some of us gots to watch the dimes, such is life), so they buy shit to make their lunches with every day, etc, have a hard time with the boss, coworkers throw them under the fucking bus, vendors, clients, whatever, and then they want to have a moment of fucking peace and quiet with their lunch and find out that some bastard with an overblown sense of entitlement took their stuff. So they do what they can.
Please note: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tragedy_of_the_commons
I am familiar with the Tragedy of the Commons, Prisoner’s Dilemma, Collective Good, etc. they are all saying the same thing: invariably some humans will not act morally, whatever that means, and do something for personal gain that screws over the group. This is life.
My point is, don’t meekly carve your name on a can of diet soda and expect it to deter theft, in all likelihood it will not. It only makes you look impotent and paranoid. Rise up, live, and have hope.
i take personal offense to this post because i was the victim of stephen swyberius stealing my diet coke that had my name on it. you know WHY i labeled it? because people like him force me to do so. otherwise it would be a free for all. NOT that the labeling worked, i found the post-it with my name on it lying by itself in the refrigerator when i went to retrieve my diet coke. A bottle, not a can.
in addition, i know it was stephen because he also stole the two skor bars that you, michael, gave me as a gift. guess what? to this day he has not replaced either (nor has he admitted to the diet coke incident, but that’s to be expected).
Sometimes it’s like I don’t even know you.
Agreed, Legos rock the known universe. They are all I cared about when I was young, and I had many space sets, and I fucking loved them.
HEAR HEAR, TAMSIN!
Oh how vividly I remember that glorious Christmas morning. That Monorail had a long productive life. Highlights include the Monorail hill climb competition. As well as Monorail long jump. How sad modern Lego has become. It is impossible to get un-movie licensed themed sets.
There is nothing involved in this post that isn’t awesome. I am holding off for the Going Clinic
Ok Jane, thanks! See you next Tuesday!
Barf.
One of the best posts, MC Diver. A+
Speaking of awesome monorails:
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/02/14/monorail-cat-update-2/
Though I am an offender, I don’t take offense to Michael’s opinion because I happen to hate many different types of people for similar reasons.
But to justify my reasons– I wrote my name all big style on my company-issued lunch SACK (which I store in the communal fridge) in the event that someday, a coworker decides to also use their identical company-issued lunch SACK. It hasn’t happened yet because as far as I know, I’m the only one who hasn’t thrown the SACK away.
Stephen Swyberius also stole Kristin’s ear buds, then pretended to find them for her.
Zoolanders
I love this one. Tom drinking the vanilla extract is classic. For years I thought that was only way you could tell if someone was alcoholic.
I’ll have to watch this later, Medium. How much time do you think I have?
This is going to be exciting!!!! I went down to the wig store and got me a WOLF Mane.
Medium, you never answered the question about licking your junk.
I see that, based on the comments, the public is split. Why not discuss another topic, maybe where there will be a bit more solidarity–perhaps, another case of labeling–hmm, maybe let’s say libel–as in the comment posted by Tamsin?
Honestly, I’ll man up to any theft I commit. I did not, I repeat, did not commit that theft of her labeled soda. Had I taken it, I would have admitted it (and prolly taken the label as a keepsake). So, back to the discussion on libel?
Whenever the wealthy search for the sympathy of others, they only find contempt–rightly so.
This is like someone complaining of a backache because their wallet is so crammed full of money. Fuck you buddy!
There is nothing menacing about a ball of pigs. As a matter of fact, I can’t imagine a better place to be. So warm, so soft…
The camel toe cup is hilarious, but what a strange site to find it on. If you click around some of the other stuff,it seems so incongruous. Oh well. Take humor where you find it.
Damn, man, if you would have paid this much attention to your own balls, maybe you would have won the Ball-Off. Snap.
I hate the Killers more than I hate Oprah. And that’s saying A LOT.
True dat, Katie D. I’m sure even the Wolf pays attention to his own bread in the oven.
Thank you, Medium, for the shout out.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/02/24/funny-pictures-i-approve-of-this-post/
Good to have you back in the saddle, Medium.
People are crazy not to be a little freaked by the pattern. Three severed right feet in running shoes that are ALL size 12?? I’d be checking the AP for reports of missing joggers.
Missing joggers with big dicks, that is.
It sounds like a fun thing for best friends to do.
Interesting. I wonder, does this mean that surfers have moved up in the world? It seems that they have taken a kind of spiritual position in our culture and the snowboarders have taken up the slacker cause for their own. I think I like surfers. Ed Vedder is a surfer. So is Jack Johnson. I’m not a huge fan of Jack’s music, but I do like the whole kind of laid-back attitude, maybe.
Yes, Katie D. Best friends with privileges.
Good observation, Joe. In fact, I know someone who has first hand experience with the surfers and the snowboarders and she has reported what you suspect. When she was snowboard slobbing she said the guys were all impotent, dirty, stoners and now that she’s living in Hawaii she says that the surf guys are a healthy meditative bunch.
Watch for hard rains and stiff winds!
HAHAHAHAHAH
Johnny Depp ends up looking like Dave Grohl.
Wow. That is bizzarro good. “I put all this wicker in here for you.” Awesome.
He totally deserved this.
I agree, Jose.
Since when is getting prostitutes illegal or immoral? It isn’t as though he murdered and ate them after he blew his loads–at least, I don’t think so, since one of them was recorded commenting on his requests/performance/payment history.
I think Spitzer was framed. Republicans have kidnapped his son. The ransom note clearly specified that Mr. Spitzer get involved in a prostitution ring. His son would be released upon the code words “Client #9.” Yes, Elliot is the current scandal of the month, but he did get his son back. Republicans are known for this sort of behavior. Monica Lewinski was a republican sent to infiltrate Bill Clinton’s pants. Marylin Monroe? Republican. Ralph Nader is even a Republican. They’ll stop at nothing to bring down the Democrats. Spitzer is just the latest casualty.
I personally think he originally called up the high-priced hooker in order to further his own investigations into the escort service, like he has done so often in the past. During questioning, his belt buckle got caught on the corner of the interrogation table, causing his pants to fall around his ankles, which in turn caused Spitzer to fall penis-first into his suspect. Never having had sex before, this was a revelation to little Elliot, this caused him to trick the hooker into his closet by carefully placing Reece’s Pieces down his hallway, where he then cared for her, taught her a few words of English, and then eventually helped her create a crude device for contacting her home planet. Eventually, after both nearly die from strange inter-species connections, she is rescued by her people.
So you see, the man is a hero, people. Let him be!
Wow. That’s a hot mess. Christian could be a piece of work from time to time, but he was fairly tolerable. He gave good laugh lines, at least. Hey, if you’re such a big fan of Vampire Weekend and their smart sweaters, why aren’t they a part of Medium Music?
Good point Dr. Van Halen
I think you misspelled her name. I searched for “Kaki King” and found a ton of pics for her. Check this: http://www.vh1.com/sitewide/flipbooks/img/artists/kaki_king/09_320×240.jpg
I don’t mean to rain on your parade, Medium, but didn’t you know that short bangs are out? Just ask Heidi’s long bangs. Short bangs: you are either in, or you are out. Short bangs: you are out. auf Wiedersehen. THERE!
Kaki is a trani hot mess. Fierce.
Is Cole Avenue in Roselle Park, NJ?
I don’t care about skiing, really, but I do enjoy watching people wipe out. So thanks for that. Funny that they would use Rush in the background music of that clip.
I hope I see this tape on the internet soon and soon. Do you think that the dog was happy when he died? Or scared out of his mind?
What about putting a cool dripping candle into it and making a fun hippie vase? Or filling it with cool layers of colored sand and shells?
Well, Retardo. If craft art is your thing, go for it.
Personally, I like puff paint. It can go anywhere and it looks great.
I like to bedazzle.
Shrinky Dinks FTW
What anth?
Dude, I’m not too sure that she’s a chick. That’s my gut feeling.
Hmm, you’d think with all that inefficient extra pedaling, he’d be in better shape. Imagine how fat he’d be if he had a bigger bike with bigger wheels and fewer RPMs. Do you talk RPMs with bikes?
Funny, I saw a big fat guy in shorts today too. I also knew a guy in college who wore shorts all year around. he said he was from vermont and that the cold didn’t bother him. I think he regretted saying that. it got freaking cold at my school in maryland. one time, it snowed and the temp dropped to about 1 degree. I saw him walking across the campus in his stupid shorts. he looked like he was froze. the funny thing is that he got pneumonia and died. sorry, just kidding. that’s not funny.
Katie and Mr. Rosco, thank you for your remarks.
Katie, yes RPMs do apply to cycling. Your cadence, or pace, is basically your RPMs.
Mr. Rosco, year round short sporters are losers.
One of my teachers at Parsons rode one of those douchecycles. Want to know what class he taught? Sustainable Design, aka hippie bullshit (I am all for sustainable design, the way some teachers go about it at school drives me crazy)
Anyway, people who wear shorts in cold weather are also the type of people who either A. own more than three hemp necklaces or B.have made their own chain mail.
The tiny fold up bike makes little sense. If you can’t change gears, isn’t it almost as fast to walk someplace? Poor Kevin James. Of course, if he had lost the weight they would have kicked him off the show.
Best post yet. Needless to say, I added Mariah Carey to my google alerts so I can sell off my assets if she falls and scrapes her knee.
Great. Now I have to check the weather AND this before I go outside. This is the best argument I’ve heard so far for letting global warming continue until we wipe ourselves out.
Pointless elegance for those who have finally plowed all other worries out of the way. I can’t imagine that it is easy to pour wine out of this glass tusk, and in my head I can see the drippy messes forming on counters all over the world. Navigating the world is difficult enough, do we need more form without function?
I agree that these are trying too hard. But what gets my goat is that these nerds think they “invented” the stemless wine glass– it’s called a cup, damnit.
Btw, how do you spell I-CUP?
you’re on to something. I’m concerned that either the NSA or Island Records is going to try to squash you. Ever see that movie where mel gibson is a cab driver?
“Mariah Carey had her legs insured for $1 billion. Mariah, I hope you are the sole beneficiary as this could give even the best of people thoughts of tripping you.”
copied from some site. I think her 8 octave range has been heating up our atmosphere since 1990.
The best part about this pointless decanter is that it neglects to perform the one function a wine decanter is supposed to. Expose as much surface area of wine to air. This is a narrow tube that hardly exposes any surface area. Decanters are wide and flat for a reason.
Mariah’s just an all-around great gal.
The odd thing is that whether it’s a good thing or bad thing that happens to Mariah seems to have no bearing on the goodness or badness of what will befall us, the only guarantee is that something will happen.
Bullett: I have read conflicting reports on her actual range. Some say she only has 4.5 live. So who knows.
Agreed. Americans and Brits have macabre interests, and there is no doubt we love being active participants in the demise of others.
Last weeks episode wasn’t that great but this episode was another brilliant commentary on American culture by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I thought a great point was the parallel between old day ritual sacrifice and our more TV friendly version of sacrifice. It is upsetting that because we can invade peoples lives with telephoto lenses, stalking tactics, etc, that we allow it to happen. If I follow a girl home three times in a row, I will have a phone call from the cops on the fourth day, you stalk a girl for years, and have a camera, it is not only legal, but gainful employment. This will never end until crotch shot photos stop being worth $100,000.
Well put Anthony. Either they legalize stalking for everyone, which, I can’t say I disagree with. Or, they protect these poor celebutantes from the frenzy. Except if we are going to sacrifice celebrities, I say Paris Hilton goes first.
In a market driven society, what sells goes. It’s depressing, because what you end up with is a better mirror than any news-based poll. What you see is what we want. Which is what we are?
Jose,
I agree with your supply and demand supposition. But, I hope at some point the inherently compassionate side of human nature kicks in and we say enough of this garbage.
I often find myself ashamed of the Schedenfreude that I feel when I read the celebrity-falls-from-grace headlines in the gossip rags.
I have had enough.
I think you meant to say impresario: 1. a person who organizes or manages public entertainments, esp. operas, ballets, or concerts. 2. any manager, director, or the like.
I for onoe am exhausted! So many trips back and forth between your site and m-w.com.
I do like the Cribs, though, and it’s all thanks to you.
It can be equal parts very cool and very frustrating to hear a band play a more exciting or different set than their records. Sometimes when it’s just different and they rock it all very well, then that’s great. It’s also cool to be underwhelmed by a band’s record and then be blown away at a show. Conversely, when a show rocks your nards off and then the album is a disappointment, that sucks.
I’ll need to give Le Loup a listen. Quality bands are hard to find in the sea of iTunes saturation. I recently was fortunate to hear great new music on public radio during a trip to PA. Le Savy Fav stood out as one of the best. I wonder if they are related to Le Loup?
I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.
I thought Magic Johnson was healthier than most of us for years now, no?
God save our stomachs is more like it. But who am I to say? If it was 2 AM and I was high and in college, I’d probably consider eating this shit.
Touche. I am not saying I wouldn’t eat it. I’m a donut junkie for God’s sakes.
Dr. Diver says:
Don’t let the gut fool you. HIV patients have insulin issues that cause lipid redistribution in the body, particularly with an accumulation of visceral adipose tissue located under the muscle and around the organs in the gut. His shoulders show that he is working out, but all the exercise in the world won’t do shit for those hormones. What’s that? Another question for Dr. Diver? “How do you make a hormone?” The answer is simple: You pay her.
I got all excited when I saw the pictures until I looked closely and noticed that the’re NOT poppers. God save the poopers is more like it.
Well, color me educated!
Well done, Katie D. Nice punchline, too.
I just scarfed down a chocolate frosted donut, holy shit it’s good. My mouth can’t even work as fast as I want to eat this thing. I feel like Homer.
K’Tray, I thought you would be into these things. Oh well, you say popper I say pooper.
Sorry Medium. I draw the line at particle board, I mean chicken.
1) They are a bunch of spoiled pricks and I can’t be bothered anyway.
2) I understand that this gold-digging ho lost her leg to begin with in a botched bitch implant surgery.
3) Don’t waterboard me, bro!
Jose Canseco, Heather Mills, and a Waterboard walk into a bar…
…The bartender says, “why the long face”?
Oh, my faithful commentators. You’re too much.
Heather Mills says ,”I lost my leg”
Bartender says, “That’s too bad”
“What about you Waterboard?”
Waterboard says, “They make me do mean things and I get depressed.”
Bartender says, “Oh I’ sorry”
“So what’s your deal Jose?”
I think Tyler over at wwtdd.com summed the whole Heather Mills thing up –
“Paul McCartney met Heather Mills for the first time in 1999. They started dating a year later, and he proposed to her in 2001. They got married in 2002, then divorced in 2006. For this, she was awarded $48.7 million. That equates to roughly 35,000 dollars for every day they were married. On top of that, she gets payments of $70,000 per year, plus money to pay for nannies and school for their daughter, Beatrice. Please keep in mind, most of McCartney’s money was earned with the Beatles, who broke up when Mills was 12 months old.”
I would beat this bitch with her own leg if i had the chance.
You sound like you’d actually be surprised by “another big name basball player (A-Rod) using steroids” news. Have you been following sports over the last two years?
I’d like to waterboard that bitch Heather Mills.
I am not surprised. I guess it’s just an attrition thing. Like in cycling, you knew guys were using drugs, but once Floyd Landis went down I couldn’t take anymore.
I accepted that everyone was probably using them.
For some reason, Roger Clemens surprises me much less than A-Rod, also.
For some goddamned reason, I can’t stop listening to Guns N Roses lately, so this is great. I haven’t drank Dr. Pepper since I was a kid, mainly because I only drink all-organic, hydroponic, steroid-free sodas these days, but I will certainly try it out if it gets the record released. Sigh. I wish Slash and Izzy were going to be on it, though.
Amen, brother. Everyone reading, email that weaselly dick Sheldon Silver and tell him not to be a poor sport, screwing it up for the rest of us. The state still has to pass this. Email Sheldon Smelldon here: http://assembly.state.ny.us/mem/?ad=064&sh=con
Shedlon, dude, bro, pass this shit.
I heart my bike.
Not to mention all the money that will hopefully be pumped into the local transit system.
Sexy word alert! PUMP.
Dear Mike: If you do not post something about Formula One president Max Mosley engaging in Nazi sex fantasies with five prostitutes, then you are not a real man. You must be familiar with Mosley since you (and your brother) are huge fans of the sport. In fact, you two are the only people I’ve ever known who watch Formula One.
This could be both the most funny and the most disturbing story of the year. Mosley is worse than Barry Bonds and Floyd Landis.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=550109&in_page_id=1770
Gideon, I have had that video for a few days, I don’t even know what to write? I’ll try my best.
Giving the people what they want. Well done, Michael.
And a good quote, “The super wealthy and privileged are into kinky shit.” Speaking of, Jesse saw Elliot Spitzer in Barnes and Noble on 86th street yesterday. Couldn’t make out what book he was buying, but said he almost caused a riot with all of the pointing and screaming from shoppers.
Max Mosely, making Elliot Spitzer look good.
Amen, Gideon. It’s all relative. Don’t you wonder what happens to these reprobates once their perversities are outed?
Do they go to therapy? Do their licentious desires get worse?
Lots of high-test business dudes love it when dominatrix type chicks do crazy shit like wipe their asses and put them in diapers, feed them with bottles, spank them, put them in huge cribs…check this shit out:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilic_infantilism
Hmmmmm…as a HUGE sneaker fan, let me say that the panels look a bit like lattice work to me. I don’t know about these, dude.
I have to say that my first reaction was to remember the sad lonliness of the Russian exchange student’s first day’s in my freshman year phys ed class. Please for me to elaborate much?
I dig them, but at the same time they remind me of a mesh t-shirt. Which is totally awesome.
Try not to be too hard on the NYC, Medium. I know that the Congestion Pricing nay-sayers got you down, but buck up and:
1. Go to the Aquarium at Coney Island, or perhaps look into a large lobster tank at one o’ dem fancy Manhatty restaurants
2. That was no Chicago ho! I think that’s your sister. So- Disreeegaaaard.
3. Only 3 months until NYC officially kicks Chicago’s lame mirror ball into Lake Michigan with THIS: http://dumbonyc.com/2008/01/27/waterfall-art/ (thanks Pat Kiernan!)
4. Dirty streets = character! Just kidding. But srsly, I saw you throw a booger on E29th Street once, so who can you blame, really?
K Tray. Big up on the waterfall thing, you are too well informed! Go Pigeon Hunter!
Medium, you sound like Madonna. Seriously though, Chicago is a great town, even if it is too fucking cold in the winter. However, I must say that NYC has plenty of crazy public art.
Wow. This guy is a complete pervert. I can’t believe he’s got the balls to admit to having done these kinds of things.
No need to be crazy, agreed. It does bother me, however, when i wake up at three in the morning–hungry for individually wrapped slices of American cheese–log onto Medium Happiness, and find that your lazy ass hasn’t written since 6 PM the eve before. Man. It makes me SO PISSED.
Chill out, bro.
Happy that you threw in my word jab hole in there. Good on ya.
Katie D doesn’t like Sheldon Silver. Katie D is pissed off and feels bad for Medium Happiness. Katie D wants to send Bloomberg a cheer-up basket of muffins.
Here here! Nicely done! Fucking jab holes. Dumb ass bandits. Cowards.
I hope this ends the political career of the mindless douche that is Sheldon Silver.
F’ing blow backs.
Personally, I think you let this fucking prick off light. You are nicer than me. Secondly, I think that New Yorkers, while maybe self-important from time to time, take too much crap from upstate folks and their petty inferiority complex. We are the only reason that those slack-jawed yokels even have a freaking town.
Jose, as an upstater I must say they hate the city as much as the city hates them.
Upstate New York is a dump yest our taxes are some of the highest in the country, we can thank the city for that.
Wow. I’ve never seen someone get Mike to transform his tone or his method with so few words.
Mike, I should remind you that it is not the liberal way to provoke discourse with vitriol and personal insults. Leave that to the republican scumbags. You’re better than that!
All of that being said, it is a pretty entertaining exchange.
Medium, I feel I probably offended you, you being from Elmira and all. Not my intention. I do not hate upstate, and i think most New Yorkers don’t hate upstate, but upstate definitely has issues with the city, and they take it out on us with petty BS like this (congestion pricing). As far as taxes go, they get off lighter than Jersey does.
Gideon, what good is the “liberal way” if it keeps republicans in power and brave legislation out of the books? Man up. It was democrats that kept congestion pricing from even being voted on. Besides, is it the “liberal way” to lie about a trip to Bosnia? Look, I’m no conservative, but this shouldn’t be about liberal and conservative. It’s about trying to live in a tolerable world. And that’s why the congestion pricing plan being killed sucks so much.
Yeah when liberals behave like self-serving titheads they deserve some vitriol. I ain’t afraid to go O’Reilly on someone every now and and then.
What category would I fall into if I farted into an airtight envelope and mailed it to your buddy Tony?
Cheese. Cheeeesari.
You would get a free Medium Happiness fan club sticker/.
Ha ha. I think the recent plight of the Knicks is hilarious. What a rag tag band of puds. The fact that it bothers a lot of people more than their own bad marriages bother them makes it even funnier.
Talk about riding dirty. Holy hell. Can’t he be arrested for driving under the influence or something? BTW, I think after you hit the once-a-week mark, your doing a tad more than experimenting.
Good point, I think he was beyond the experimentation phase. It’s also interesting because it just may show how little skill is involved in NASCAR racing.
You would never hear of such a thing in high-class Formula 1 racing, eh Medium?
Good point Katie D, the Formula Oners probably stick to coke.
So do you guys think I should stop wearing my Knicks jersies? Jerseys? Dirty Jersey.
I HATE SPORTS, unless it’s Hewey Luis and the News that we’re talking about.
Oh man, there is such a great subtext to this whole thing.
By taking an extremely powerful sedative, a driver was still able to compete in the auto racing sedative known as NASCAR.
I am certainly impressed that I have a whole post dedicated to me.
I guess anyone who knows me knows how much I love to watch the Knicks collapse, squirm, and stand pat in the face of shame and such utter humiliation. As a Nets fan, I am no stranger to shame and humiliation and it’s nice to see it in the faces of such holier-than-thou pricks. (I think I’m falling right into Jose’s stereotype. But I’m not married.)
But this article was excellent. I’ve never seen both Tolstoy and Shakespeare referenced in a sports article before. Good choice. Truly a tragedy of Shakespearian proportions.
I will note that I have promised not to insult Hillary Clinton anymore…at least, not until the DNC names a nominee. That being said, Jose, the Clintons do not abide by typical liberal campaign politics. The name calling, the lying, and the finger pointing were all brought to the battlefield by Ms. Clinton and have, as a result, really harmed the Democratic party.
There are more creative, intelligent, and effective ways to provoke discourse. That’s all I’m saying.
I am a huge fan of dropping trou and leaving the Cleveland steamer. Now THAT is a way to provoke discourse.
Medium, I would never go to those sucky music blogs. Those cats have their heads up their asses. I’ll get all my Howlies info from you, and thanks for the heads up.
Yo I dig the Howlies. I’m going to try and catch them at Pianos. Once again you have turned me on to some quality music. Much thanks.
What a bunch of tits. Get a job!
What losers. Move on.
This is terrible. I don’t understand what’s going on. So many questions. Everything is wrapped in bandages? What hacks created this disaster? Why is Leslie Nielsen mowing his lawn? If it is gas mower than why are the blades exposed like manual mower? Why is wearing a bucket on his foot?
All very good questions…I don’t know the answer to any of them.
I must admit that I tried this latest in a glut of “female only” products, and I didn’t feel right for the rest of the day. I was fucking gross.
TMI Retardo.
thanks for the headlines medium. i read the article about Herschel Walker. he said he blacked out whenever he did something wrong and doesn’t remember his evil behavior. I know he has a condition, but it got me thinking. how come no one ever blacks out when they do something heroic? People have a great memory when they save a bunch of kids from a burning fire or rescue a group of teenagers from a crazy serial killer. Government officials, for example, seem to forget everything when they screw up yet have a razor sharp memory when they need to recite their achievements.
The world keeps getting more beautiful every day. Thank you, CNN.
I don’t want your lousy tickets anyway. Is this now the Medium Happiness bulletin board?
HA, ’twas not I.
That is one of the funniest things I have ever read.
Gideon,
As an esteemed referrer of content your kind words fall on grateful, listening ears.
Go Rangers! Go Nuggets!
The croc is one of the worst looking shoes in history. I didn’t think it was possible to cover every shade of vomit in a shoe, but the croc managed to pull it off. I suppose trends are inheritently ugly, but crocs are just plain obscene. Landfills will be stuffed with these whiffle ball foam shoes and in a million years they will be discovered by some futuristic cyborg who use them for laser practice.
So funny that you post this article today. Earlier while on lunch break I saw a horde of little kids, 80% of them with little kiddie Crocs on and two of the counselors had Crocs on as well. Apparently once the weather gets nice enough, giving a shit what you put on your feet goes right out the window. Little kids with Crocs is fine. I am all for it, they don’t give a shit and they are cheap for the parents. However, Crocs high heel shoes fall somewhere between a Dildo Cell Phone and Reusable Butter in terms of good ideas. The good news is the further Crocs expands their line of goods, the more shorthand we have available to immediately judge weather or not someone is a total jab.
Reusable peanut butter, yes!
Wow. Crocs suck, for sure. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that the whole line isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. The original crap shoe still has a season left in it, I bet (crocs bought in August or September of last year still have some play in them) and you can bet that all the people who bought that shit to begin with will be interested in the new shit. I’m sure all those fools didn’t wake up one morning with a new found sense of style. From a $$ perspective, the people running Crocs probably did the right thing. if people bought the first round of crap, they will buy a second. The ad sucks, though. Why would you even admit that your first product was ugly? I’m sure the people who loved their crocs don’t know everyone else thought they were stupid shoes.
Toss crocs in the trash where they belong… right next to brighly-patterned Wellies and sports jerseys. Gag.
Bindi Irwin is a favorite for the Soup. It’s so sad in a very hilarious way to watch her early downfall.
Well hell, you could knock me over with a feather.
Consider yourself born.
Yeah I saw this movie by myself in the middle of the day and totally laughed my ass off. And yes Russell rocked! Hey so I tagged you for this thing, its not exactly your deal but if you want to do it the rules are on my page, and lets get together soon. I am pissed I got to work all weekend cuz I wanted to see the Howlies!!
Dude, you have completely glossed over her latest foray into television with the “Fresh Takes” series. This woman is going places. Thank you, Alicia! Thank you, Dove Soap!
http://www.mtv.com/asm/dove/
Sounds like Ol’ Courtney was a bit turned in by those You Tube videos. Tight tees and Taut muscles?
Touche, Jose.
“Toilets clogged with vomit.” What a puke (pun intended). I agree with KTray. It sounds like this chick is totally into those fight videos, and it sounds like she’d rather see more, and I agree with her. Less, puking, more fighting!
I think you should check out The Present http://www.myspace.com/thepresentnewyork .
It’s my friend’s band, and the lead singer, Rusty Santos used to play with Animal Collective and the drummer, Jesse Lee, sometimes plays with Gang Gang Dance and White Magic.:)
Having swam with dolphins before and really being kind of moved by the experience, reading this breaks my heart.
Don’t slag yourself, Medium. Just because you haven’t produced, doesn’t mean you can’t hear mistakes. Maybe you SHOULD produce.
Upon receiving my $350 check from Medium Happiness, I will run out and try them. I am happy you have found enjoyment, however. No comment on Interpol.
You didn’t get your Medium Happiness stimulus package in your bank account yet? Strange.
I will comment on Interpol for you then: they are better than Mars Volta. !
I have one eye on the mail.
Mars Volta RULES, ass!
It sounds like you have x-large happiness about these speakers, medium happiness. I, too, love the sound of sound.
The velvet bags are a little much, but if you say the quality is good than so be it. More importantly, I have noticed the sound quality difference between older and newer vehicles (records or CDs). The newer music is jacked up rather high and clarity does seem to suffer. However, I find that listening to this new music on headphones tends to resolve the issue slightly. I’m speaking about listening directly through your stereo, not through an iPod. The levels on an iPod are infuriating.
crank it up!
the changes are slight, but the new version is more authentic on the verses, a bit more melancholy. the choruses are brighter, which provides a cool contrast. in any event, the masters are starting to roll in, and sound killer!!!!
What a dirty bird this REAR Admiral is.
Jesus. What a bunch of dumb fucks. I’m sorry, Schumer, what did you say? It’s hard to understand you with all of those RICH DICKS IN YOUR MOUTH. When I’m super wealthy, you can believe I will find a better place to go than the dumb-ass Hamptons.
Delicious.
Hamptons smell. PU.
Spot on with your description of The Charleston. My ears are still ringing. Thanks for the plug there too.
Ha ha ha. I don’t buy it for one damn second. That guy acts like he knows EXACTLY what it’s like to smoke some weed.
The Barry Manilow audience doesn’t strike me as the weed smoking type. I think of them as getting high by chugging Bartles & James and snorting wheat grass.
How can you trust a bank that calls themselves WaMu? I mean, come on guys, this is my MONEY we’re talking about here. It’s not a joke, it’s about starving, or freezing, homelessness, life and death. Get it together. And yes, so fucking stupid to make such a average perk a selling point. They think we are all retarded. That’s like saying, “With WaMu, you’ll receive a debit card good at ATMs all around the world, FOR FREE!”
Ha. The debit card that’s good all around the world. That’s great.
I am pretty sure “wamu” is the scum that builds up around the keys of Bodega ATM’s. Or “wamu” is some kinky shit japanese men do to school girls. One thing is for sure, “wamu” is not a place I would put my money. Wachovia ftw. How can you not like a bank that has lollipops in “2000 flushes blue” and “Ecto-Cooler green”.
And, in what is apparently typical WaMu fashion, they’re still calling it “Free Checking,” as if anyone has paid for a checking account in the past ten years….
I have about five accts with Wachovia, and they regularly waive my overdraft fees.
I am permanently skeeved.
scarred for life and scared for life!
Bike lanes rule! And I hate people who throw trash on the ground. HATE IT. Don’t move to Portland, it sucks. So I hear.
I was thinking about wearing a pair of tighty whiteys in a river for my Christmas card this year, but this jerkoff had to go and shoot the picture before I could.
I say you hire him.
Ah, ah, so stuck in my. God damn MIA
That actually looks pretty fucking funny.
Dude, be careful with this dude. He did say, “If anything, I could off you and your website…” It sounds like he wants you dead.
What a dumb ass. Those poor dogs. And whatever humans he’s hurt as well.
Ew. I’d hate to see what he does for food demonstration.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1SiSUrvUnk
I hate that song. It’s the Clash’s Straight to Hell (which I really like and is a substantive and interesting song) topped by shitty singing.
Jesus. You’re right.
JESSU CHRITS!
Maybe James had a son he never knew about?
Yo, that horse is SHINY.
HAHAHAHA. Gross.
That song would make the most EXCELLENT cover!
Seems to me she wasn’t pretty back then, either.
Any show with Earnest Borgnine in the cast is worth mentioning. What a man. He had five wives, one of which was Ethel Merman. He’s still kicking around, too.
Pretty? Perhaps not, but very cute. That photo is from an askance angle does not do her justice.
Don’t forget that hideous thing growing on her right arm. Oh, wait; that’s just Jay Mohr. He looks vaguely like Chris Burke of ‘Life Goes On’ fame.
I call Gronk!
Oh shit Caveman Ugh-Lympics! I was a champ at the Dino Vault, so when we need to launch over some T-Rex’s in Midtown I am your guy. Also, I give credit to Ian for pointing this out, but Pigeons and Doves are the exact same species. One is white and loved/romantic while the other is a “flying rat”. Languages like Hebrew have only one word for both birds.
Yes, I did know this about pigeons and doves, and it just goes to show you how moronic people can be. I agree with just about everything here. Why the hell did cops feel the freaking need to take the time out of their day to deal with a raccoon? Surely there was a dead woman in a dry cleaning store in Windsor Terrace to deal with? As far as pigeons go, when I first came to NYC 15 years ago, I was more excited about seeing all the pigeons running around than seeing the Empire State Building. It really made me feel like I was in the Big Apple, and it just knocked me out. Something from movies was happening to me. Screw that idiot politician.
Bert loved pigeons. He “did” the pigenon. See it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPj3G7U-K04
Well I love both Mitchum and Miller Lite what do I win?
It is funny how so many people neglect to do these basic comparisons for common products.
Digg it at http://digg.com/health/Clinical_Strength_Deodorants_are_a_Scam
Umm yeah and E looks better hanging with his Entourage crew. HBO makes everyone look better Nikki should try it.
I actually don’t use Mitchum or clinical strength. Nor do I drink any of the Miller beers. I agree that consumers can be huge suckers, but I also think Mitchum is part of that scam. It might not be as expensive as Secret Clinical Strength, but it IS more expensive than other deodorants, and for me, has never worked as well as Right Guard or Gillette. And it must be clear gel, otherwise fuck it. Speed Stick has always sucked.
Well, the fact is that Mitchum has a lot more active ingredient than both of the brands you refer to, Jose.
Yes it does cost more, but it also comes in a nifty Smart Solid variation which is the best of both worlds. No residue and no wet gel.
Thanks for pointing out this seemingly obvious truth! People are continuing to move into places & then going, “Shit! There’s a bear in my yard!”
Shooting a raccoon like that is just so ridiculously sad.
Certain Dri is the only true, clinical strength antiperspirant. It is so strong, that you are not supposed to use it after you get out of the shower or shave your pits (gentlemen), otherwise you will RASH UP. That is how strong it is.
And by the way, have you ever accidentally gotten antiperspirant on your tongue? You can forget about tasting anything for a day.
Ktray, that is one of the best comments ever. You’re such a knowledgeable consumer.
I know this is an old post, but I had to revisit after stumbling upon this:
more cat pictures
I like the idea of the Soviet airline pilot flying like a crazy man in any weather. Very Indiana Jones.
I think we have reached a time in our world when the whole oil thing has become cost prohibitive. The fact of the matter is that it’s too expensive to fly planes and drive cars now. Time to come up with something different.
This was only mildly funny to me. Good idea, though.
I’ll never forget the first time I ever french kissed the morning. Man. That was fucking CRAZY.
Good point, Jose.
What’s the alternative though? The ones in the hopper that might be viable are decades from being perfected.
I think, like most of Europe, we need to drive less and buy less. They’ve dealt with $6 gallons of gas for a long time.
I hearted it big time!
These fuckers will get it done for us:
http://www.solenagroup.com/
I’m going to start saving up all my garbage in a corner of my apartment.
I also like the soviet pilot idea. I saw a documentary a few years ago called Darwin’s Nightmare. The title is a take off on the book “Darwin’s Dreampond,” a book about the amazing biodiversity of lake victoria in africa. The documentary is about invasive species, overfishing and pollution in the lake. The situation is horrendous. Anyway, companies are set up right at the shores of the lake to process huge amounts of Nile Perch (a huge invasive fish that is eating up all of the interesting cyclids). A few hundred yards away is a runway where soviet pilots in very old soviet planes pick up tons of fish and fly it to self-righteous europeans. The wreckage of earlier planes is scattered at the end of the runway. the soviet pilots fly in, visit african whores, drink heavily and then fly back with laden planes.
I remember exactly where I was when I first saw JBJ’s reinvented look for the ’90s (depicted in this AWESOME video), and I was like, Hhuh– OK– Yes. And come to think of it, I think he introduced the ‘do that Jennifer Aniston has taken all credit for.
Also, the candid band-in-the-studio shots reminds me of the ‘Divers. Good times.
Medium, you all but made my day with this post. JBJ and I thank you.
Or write something that will net you new fans. I, for one, have maybe visited this site once. I’m sure I was turned off by it.
KTray, that web site practically made my computer blow up. It nots workings.
Invasive species are a real bummer. Zebra Mussels?
Ktray I know you bleed Jovi; everything I do I do it for you. That’s Jovid thunder stealer Bryan Adams.
I guess being a net nerd helps to find it entertaining. I just find it funny that it is actually possible to turn a website into a character. Like you couldn’t have a TV show as a character. Well maybe you could. Like the SNL character could just look off screen at cue cards and make jokes that aren’t jokes, and if something accidentally funny did come out you could then repeat the gag over and over until there is no way you could ever laugh at it again.
Circle jerk is such a perfect way to describe their reviews. Music snobbery is one of the most offensive forms of snobbery I have come across. I rather have a yuppie middle age whorebag spit at me from her Bentley than hear a music douche ramble on about how Pavement is by far the greatest band that could ever exist.
I don’t eat many donuts. If you want a NYC Dunkin Donuts that is run very well and likely to have a higher quality donut, try the one on 31st and 5th. The Koreans there really know how to run a shop. They are much better with the iced coffees and such than most of the idiots running the Dunkin Donuts around town (I’m looking at you, 28th and Madison).
As a side note, Herve Villechaize committed suicide in 1993. Self-inflicted gunshot wound. Ka-blammo. Don’t you wish Gary Coleman had the same dignity?
I happened to have grown up watching Different Strokes, as such I have a great deal of love and respect for Gary Coleman.
I agree with Jose that there are IDIOTS running the 28th and Madison D&D. They are dumb and lazy and rude. And I hate them. I HATE THEM.
But man, do I love donuts. And I do love Dunkin Donuts. My favorites are: Blueberry, Apple & Spice, Chocolate Frosted with Sprinkles, Chocolate-Chocolate, and Toasted Coconut. I can has?
KTRAY
OF COURSE YOU CAN HAS.
Chocolate chocolate is one of my favorites too but only when there is enough frosting otherwise they are dry.
I am going to get us a dry, end-of-day D&D sampler on Friday. And MILK! Mmmm.
HOLY SHIT-STAINED DRAWERS!
That is the third time I have watched that and it is still terrifying. One of my favorite stats from the wiki page “Many people have lost their lives on the walkway in recent years. After four people died in two accidents” Thats right kids, two accidents killed four people. Have fun piecing together scenarios where one accident kills two people, think Cliffhanger opening scene. Or even worse, one accident was one person and the other was three people. Truly the stuff of nightmares.
I kept waiting for an accident to happen, like, this video footage was recovered from a camcorder belonging to a fallen hiker. Now THAT would have been COOL.
way off way wrong man….
Do your research buddy!
She is a hot model.. successful and moving…
And as a fighter, Sarah will participate at the Olympics this year as an exhibition.
Do your homework buddy!
Medium is one-hundred percent correct. She’s mediocre at BEST. She was in fact only Ujena Swimwear’s 2003 model of the year, so yes, a catalog model at best. Check it out: http://www.ujena.com/SarahPonce/
So J, why don’t you shut your big stupid mouth before I shut it for you, you worthless sack of shit?
I would love for hipsters to stop with the scarves already, but a bigger issue is how fucking stupid Americans continue to be. Controversial. It’s a fucking SCARF. It’s MEANINGLESS. So many ass clowns. so little time.
Good thing I rarely pay attention to lyrics then. I actually like the way this song sounds and I’m gonna give the album a bunch of rocking listens. I heart Weezer forever.
Also, I love when all of Intertubes Sensations are in one room. It reminds me of that South Park episode.
This blog makes me think about donuts all the time.
What, is River’s knocking these internet people in his video? They are only slightly more bizarre than rock stars.
Those are some ugly ass sneakers. I love the blind response consumers have to marketing gimmicks. The tech industry is absolutely littered with these words that people crave but have no fucking clue what they mean, every one needs more megapixels but when pressed to answer what a megapixel is they stare at you like you are the retard. Linksys “Speed Boost”, Contrast Ratios, Blast Proccesing, all things people request when negotiation a purchase with a poorly trained big box employee. Sigh. I know I am on a bit of a tangent right now, but for all the MediumHappiness readers out there, do not, under any cirumstance purchase a Monster Cable or Monster Product. They are the biggest hoax since X-Ray glasses. For that fact, if you do not immidiatly need any sort of A/V cable , purchase them online for about 40%-60% less than big box cost. (same goes for SD and other flash cards fot that matter).
Ok Seacrest out.
Those sneakers certainly ARE ugly, Anthony, but I wonder: are they waterproof? That’s what I always thought gortex was. Thats them breathable waterproofing shits.
Medium Happiness readers: megapixels are great, but become meaningless with a poorly made lens. A good lens means much more than megapixels. Remember that.
Costanza was a huge fan of gore-tex, but look what good it did him:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhhR4vsLNes
Yeah we walk that fine line but we are more like Woody Allen, “I don’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member.”
OMG, i think I met that tigerfish years ago at a freshman mixer!
Damn. Why you such a hater??
I think the bird might be saying, “Hey Mike, it’s not that New Yorkers are assholes, it’s that you ALL are assholes.”
THAT BIRD STOLE MY CREDIT! HE IS NOT MY DOPPLEGANGER!
Very corny, but that bird is all “Aw shucks.”
The guy in the top right corner looks like a cross between Jerry Stiller and Gary Busey. Mmmmm…
“It wasn’t easy getting it up here, but with this heat, I’m glad I installed an air conditioner on my perch.”
Thank you for entering the comment contest.
The winner is Gideon with, “It wasn’t easy getting it up here, but with this heat, I’m glad I installed an air conditioner on my perch.”
This contest was FIXED!
I didn’t know anybody could see me out there! I thought my invisibility cloak was on pretty well when I left the house this morn.
Hmmm…I work in the same office. I think I hope it rains soon.
Why are you abandoning us?? Is it because I haven’t been reading lately? Is that it?
I can’t sleep. Maybe I’ll count people peeing on mailboxes in my head. Who knows whether it will work- it didn’t last time.
YAY!!! Medium Happiness is back in all our lives!
First, it is great to see Medium Happiness in such capable hands.
Excellent first post. Yes! Wtf are subway platforms in NYC so hot? Cooling an infinite space is bull–agreed.
I can’t figure out why, so deep underground, the platforms aren’t cooler. The steam pipes might hold some information.
I don’t think radiant heat would go down as deep as some of the platforms are.
This article deserves serious attention. And thank you for looking out for your minions.
This is an interesting and unsettling all-to-regular occurrence; depending on digital photos in instances of serious decision making. I do believe, Medium, that what you say is true and soon we will have to assume a photograph is fake.
Like someone from Montour Falls, they are not to be trusted.
i think missy cruz’s nose is a bit crooked, and 100% freaky
I, for one, am horrified that Missy Cruz would go out in public looking like Gererd Depardoo (not even gonna touch that spelling, and besides “doo” is funny… Oh shit!).
I doubt Iran would want to pay Williamsburg prices for their graphic artists. They’ll have to train their own.
this is terrifying, makes me think of a possible modern day War of the Worlds type hysteria.
I only wish I could be there to see the twins earn their first DUI. Oh wait. I guess that’s only like 15 years from now. I think I’ll make it.
That picture is f*cking awesome!
Stellar post and killer picture.
My own biases lead me to say such statements as, “I would expect no less from most avid sports fans.”
Retardo, you are absolutely right. Most Yankees fans that actually go to the games on a regular basis and were probably at the All-Star Game are meatheads with pea brains.
Most Yankees fans, IMO, display a false sense of entitlement that no other fans in American sports seem to have. They think their team can do no wrong and everyone else eats taint. Johnny Damon is a perfect example; vilified while playing for the Sox and extolled as soon as he came to the Yanks.
Of course, go to England and you’ll find Gooners and Scousers have that same sort of attitude.
I feel like there’s a Clarence Thomas joke in here somewhere.
You left out the most important part of the story! Papelbon told a reporter from the Daily News that he should be named the American League closer.
Then, anticipating a horrible response from NY sports fans, he argued that his comment was taken out of context.
There are only few rules when dealing with NY sports- 1) don’t make fun of Jeter and 2) don’t ever, EVER criticize the greatest closer in the long history of the game.
Imagine the response from Red Sox fans if someone like Jason Giambi said that he was a better hitter than David Ortiz or Ted Williams.
Papelbon is a moron. He deserved everything he got. They should have pelted him with rotten fruit at the parade.
PS– Johnny Damon was not immediately accepted by Yankee fans. In fact, he was known as Johnny Douchebag for his first six months in NY.
Wait, didn’t Nick Cannon do a movie about these guys?
See for you people who aren’t hip enough to know why this is so cool/brilliant it is because they are not playing traditional music but instead making noises that are not “mainstream” or “stock” which =’s super mega hipster point bonus. No matter how shitty the music, if you can call it that, all that matters is that the music is popular enough to be cool in their niche but not too popular that they would ever hear it outside of their vinyl collection. Burn in hell Williamsburg.
Fuck me I hate noise bands. I don’t care what anyone says there is zero fucking talent involved. Thanks for getting me all riled up at the end of the day.
I like the post about this from wwtdd.com
“Unruly and loud? Jesus they make it sound like it’s going to attack me. It’s a vagina, not a bear. If I was with a girl and she took her pants off and I saw what they’re describing, I would start hitting it with my shoe.”
KOL are the best of the new. Death to Arcade Fire.
Someone ought to tie Pogan down and shove a fucking broomstick up his ass. Fucking pig jackass.
OK, I don’t really have a problem with their album because I had no idea who they were and wasn’t aware of all the hype and fanfare behind them. After seeing this video I feel ashamed now. Moreover, after reading their wikipedia entry I am now on the verge of vomiting.
“The band is influenced by both African popular music and Western classical music, describing their genre of music as “Upper West Side Soweto”, performing such songs as “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa”, and “Oxford Comma”, which references Congolese soukous music.[3]”
“The members of the band met while attending Columbia University; they then self-produced their first album after graduation while concurrently working full-time jobs.”
OMG how fucking amazing, going to school and working at the same time?!!
The only influence you clearly hear in the band is Paul Simon but it isn’t nearly pretentious enough to list as an influence. Fucking christ “Upper West Side Soweto” I can help you out guys with defining your genre. Douche Rock
These oil profits are disgusting. We can blame OPEC, we can blame wall street, we can blame fast food restaurants, we can blame Eisenhower for creating inter-state highways, but playing the blame game will not solve the problem. So how do you solve the problem?
Barack Obama has proposed a heavy tax on oil companies. While I agree that such windfall oil profits (that arrive at the expense of the everyman) are deplorable, I don’t think that this is a good policy.
Since you have expressed your discontent with the oil industry, I’d be eager to hear your thoughts.
And please keep in mind, I plan to vote for Obama in November.
1. It promotes inefficient economic arrangements. If you’re an oil company (or any other company that might fall under this new law) and are above the treshold for “acceptable” profits, what would you do? One idea to avoid this tax is to split the corporation up–maybe sell off a subsidiary. A corporation might do this even if operating as one larger corporation is more efficient. For some POSSIBLE anectodal evidence of this occurring right now in anticipation of a new law, see http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/06/12/AR2008061203896.html.
2. It further complicates the tax code. If anyone thinks that clever tax lawyers and accountants won’t find ways to hide these profits (whether deferring them to less prosperous times or keeping them overseas), they are fooling themselves. I think this can only be categorized as bad public policy.
3. It punishes success. By definition, taxes always do this, but I think a reasonable goal is to minimize punishing success. A company that will face this excess profits tax might choose to waste money on unnecessary investments rather than maximize their profits and return money to shareholders.
This only means that soon they will be having a meeting in the board rooms of Croc, Inc. to decide on a new direction for the company.
Under what? What IS this stuff of which you speak?
The Under Carriage
Genghis Dong
Jack N’ Jack
Outback Steakhouse
Peter Peter Anus Eater
Doogie’s Howser
Fantastic article. Was hoping that you would find the full text. Ah, I miss adbusters, might have to start buying them again.
The Docking Station
On Pole
Spunky Brewsters
Sister Fisters
Crank Dat Soulja Boy
Pile Driver
tooty fruity
Wow, you sure are good at making up names for gay bars, Anthony
How about a post about the Olympics?
It’s all about the economy. We were living very high on the hog for a while, and that created a couple of generations of people with relatively few worries or cares. Punks and grunge and hip hop…these were all people with real economic and sociological issues to deal with. These little idiot hipsters never had shit to worry about ever.
Eh, she’s French. I’m sure she could care less about these pictures. That’s just how these French chicks are. They LOVE being nude.
Haha. Leave it to the French to class up a global competition. Not that I’m complaining. It beats the gymnastic events that I watched last night. Which reminds me–
Women from the eastern block who are over the age of 22 should not be allowed to compete. It is almost guaranteed that these females will have muscular legs, a short haircut, and testicles. Watching 30-year-old women from Uzbekistan, Russia, and the Ukraine wear leotards and prance around on a pummel horse is too much for my sensitive eyeballs.
dude. not safe for work? not safe for LIFE. whatever happened to the simpler “i see london, i see france…?”
I worry about you.
Brilliant!
Come sail away with me, Michael.
I can confirm the quality of Hoshi Coupe.
Will be there, or will be square.
Fucking commies.
Would it be so hard to put a giant tit on that yacht? Maybe the whale baby was simply attracted to the mellow, smooth music coming from the yacht. They should try playing some death metal instead of Michael McDonald.
Perfect that the butter Shawn Johnson looks like she’s holding a plate of spaghetti & meatballs. She’d probably be pretty excited about getting that!
All of these athletes are fucking freaks anyway. Some guy has abnormally longs legs or else is half fucking fish and we slather him with praise and medals.
Has the man never heard of letting go?
You be strapped to the kite mon. The handle bar is just to steer it. Although an emergency detach rip cord would make sense.
Not possible.
I’m not sure if I sensed a dig on G Love in their or not, but if there was–well Medium, I just don’t think he deserves to be lumped in with the rest.
I have to disagree to some extent. Now, I can’t speak for the ski or snowboard communities, but I’ve heard some pretty good music in some skateboarding videos. On a 411VM, I was first introduced to Curtis Mayfield’s ‘Move On Up’ which, as we all know, is a classic. Also, ‘Hallowed be Thy Name’ by Iron Maiden on the Jamie Thomas portion of Toy Machine’s Welcome to Hell video, is probably the greatest song to listen to before you go out and shred.
I will agree, however, for the most part having heard some down right terrible music, ie – Semisonic. How that made it into one of my favorite segments in a video ever, I’ll never know.
Ian, I am not saying there aren’t exceptions, but most of the time the music in the videos that I listed is not very good. Maybe skateboarding is a cut above the others.
The baby looks like the drunk one.
Well, this clip was pretty darn good, but it wasn’t mind blowing.
I just thought it was pretty cool that they played a Neil Young song and did a very fine version of it.
He’s such a charmer, oh no.
I am glad you have finally come around about Vampire Weekend. But you see, that’s what the assclowns at Columbia relate to. Simple pleasure, rich-kid nothingness. These kids don’t want things to change…they might have to actually WORK for a living if things CHANGED.
Wow. Kind of disappointing. Anybody who listened at any length to the first record could not help but be disappointed by this song. Holy sit. After the brilliance of Trani from that record, how could they slip so far into mediocrity? On that album, and on that song in particular, it didn’t matter how rough the guitars were. The rawer the better, as a matter of fact. there was so much else going on under the surface, the rest mattered little.
But this…ah well.
Well, I’ve been listening to a bit of it, and I must say that MUSICALLY, the riffs are monster and the rhythms are very indicative of the old beast which was the Metallica of old. I can’t really hear the lyrics at all, but maybe that’s for the best.
That was confusing. From what I could tell, you kind of liked the first song but not the second, but overall you dislike guitar solos.
My initial reaction about Hetfield lyrics is: doom and gloom war electric chair follies of man = good; my drinking problem and my broken heart = BAAAAAD.
Kirk’s solos: well, if we as consumers send these guys the VERY CLEAR signal that we want them to go back and re-examine their pre Black Album catalog, then these are the kind of solos that you should expect–nay, be happy–to hear.
I listened to a bit of this album yesterday (like the first half) and while yes, we are never going to get back the golden age of Master of Puppets or the onslaught of Ride the Lightening out of these cats ever again, we should be so fucking happy that these guys are around in the popular music scene to keep those Master of Ass Puppets–Vampire Weekend–in check. Fucking Vampire Weekend. I fucking HATE the way those fucking clowns dress.
BTW, the second song, the End of the Line, rocks pretty hard. You should have listened to that.
Also BTW: Lars is still a dick for being so fucking good.
The Day That Never Comes, however, is reminiscent of a Black Album fall from grace that makes me a little sad–they just couldn’t help themselves. It’s not nearly as bad as Nothing Else Matters, however.
I must add at this point that The Day That Never Comes ends very respectably, and perhaps, at least musically, has more in common with Fade to Black on Ride the Lightning.
Cyanide has an indisputable hook up front. It’s pretty cool. If I was out at a show and some new band let something like this rip, I would be so happy. Fucking Vampire Weekend. Asshole pansies. Have I said how much I hate those jerktits?
Unforgiven III is a complete corny mess. HATE this side of Metallica and always have. Judas Kiss, in my opinion, is not bad. I’m all about this retro fucking guitar shredding. At least when it comes from Hammett. And Lars…seriously. I fucking hate him.
Suicide and Redemption–dumb name, sure, but I have to admit I have always loved the way Metallica insists on tackling instrumentals on their records. It’s a lost art, and for freaking sure, most bands wouldn’t even dream of attempting it. And actually, this might be their best instrumental since Orion.
My Apocalypse was the proper way to end a Metallica record. Now, with all of this, I really didn’t pay much attention to lyrics, but I would like to say that barring the occasional misstep, this record is a refreshing return to form for a band that at one time, long ago, was my fucking righteous favorite.
I hope you sleep with a knife under your pillow, cause Anthony is gonna try to kill you in your sleep.
Many thanks to Jose Retardo for the additional Metallica Death Magnetic comments.
What about Positive K’s “I Got A Man”?
Eatin’ Good in the Neighborhood.
Busch beer tastes like bad pH balance.
This podcast will definitely break up the monotony of your day as you will likely have to give the Heimlich Maneuver to your coworker.
And why would you need a cooler if you’re snowboarding anyway?
You know where you can skate and snowboard in the same day while being at work? At the Burton headquarters in Vermont, go figure maybe they should get back to work and then they might come up with some interesting ads.
Pretty much sounds like the rest of the good ole’ U S of A.
Saw this. It was nutty good fun.
Clinton was also on the Letterman show recently, and it’s just crazy how smart this guy is. He simply understands everything.
Ugg Boots in fact are waterproof. They are perfect to wear to and from the mountain when skiing and I do not intend to stop sporting them when they do eventually fall by the wayside among fashionistas. While I personally find rubber boots to be more water repellent in the rain, the warmth, comfort, and coziness Ugg boots have to offer after releasing your foot from the stockade we call ski boots is unparalleled.
I like farting into Uggs and then sliding them over my cock. Such comfort.
Every pair of suede shoes I’ve ever owned I have waterproofed with whatever magic spray they have at shoe stores. I’m a bit OCD about it and tend to hose them down 3-4 times before I even wear them outside the house, but they always ALWAYS get fucked up by the rain. Its just a fact. I think what ol’ admin was trying to point out was what happens when the water gets into the fur on the inside of the boot. That shit has to smell worse than my crotch rot.
I don’t care if they are god damn bullet proof, they are fuck ugly.
More disturbing than wearing uggs in the rain, is in fact is the non sensical ugh-wearing occassion illustrated above; why the hell do women wear uggs in the summer with short shorts, while all normal people find flip flops sufficient??? I get it when it is snowing, 0 degrees or you just finished surfing in frigid waters(the initial impetus for uggs existence). But 90 degrees in manhattan or la?? Uggh!
Makes one proud to be an American.
I like to think of all of the legitimately smart, hard working, honest people that Bush probably used to know in his college days. I like to think of how they must have felt when Bush got elected for the first time. They were probably so seething mad and jealous that this complete fuck up drunk is now the leader of the free world and the only thing they used to associate with him was drunken belligerence. Now, they see this picture, they see that this worthless spoiled fuck up has finally got what he deserves, complete loathing and despise on a global level. Fuck this man, fuck his administration, and fuck everyone who helped him ruin this country.
Oh here is the link for the newest trailer for W.
http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/w/trailer-b
I agree with all of Anthony’s first comment; only that’s how I think about Anthony.
I agree with everything in Ian’s statement, except that’s how I feel about black licorice.
It would only be fitting that if she is elected she is assassinated by a wolf flying an airplane.
Oblberman is dead right when he said if Mcain/Palin win and Mcain croaks we will have to evacuate this country.
Well then, I hope Sara Fucking Twatlips Palin would stand up and take responsibility when her daughter’s product of rape burns down the local department store, killing everyone inside.
You are so right about this. I don’t care.
Suck it Jose. If you ever had the experience of Canuckspitality in person you would be torn about this.
Can’t you just go there for the pancakes? I mean, they’re not shutting down all of Canada because of this.
Frighteningly, they aren’t a joke to a lot of jab holes out there.
That was some good shit.
Holy balls that band is horrible. They sound like a band that would open for some local band comprised of 40 year olds at the Haunt on a Tuesday night at 7pm. That last paragraph of the review made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. I can’t imagine how unbearable it would be to live with a self felating ass-hat like this reviewer. Can you imagine trying to listen to or discuss music in his presence? I think the self obsessed music snob is one of the most intolerable type of people to be around. They are the cancer of music.
They sound like a sucky Mary’s Danish, which wasn’t a great band to begin with.
Anthony: What’s wrong with local bands with 40 year olds? What have YOU ever done?
Played in a band at an age appropriate level in accordance with my talent. If you are in a band and old, you better be damn good. Being a shitty band and old is pathetic. You only get the pass of being shitty when you are young.
I really think it’s incredible how much Henry Darger has influenced pop-culture.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darger
I miss Bartles and James.
Seems like every person I know has at least one Zima story, usually ending with some tragedy. Damn Zima, you ain’t got nuttin’ on no Cisco.
Neat.
i never rocked #18; plus I was one of the first football players to wear shorts
Dude…that was meant to be the secret video release on my upcoming album! why’d you ruin it!?
That is a fucking hysterical post. Never tried Zima, myself. My college freshman roommate was a big fan.
K, love Wayne, love the double neck guitar but it is insulting to gamers everywhere that he believes, that we believe that is how you play guitar. No one has ever had the delusion that Guitar Hero =’s Real Guitar. It is simply an enjoyable and different way of experiencing music. Did anyone say shit a decade and a half ago when Madden football came out? No, no one said, gee kids think pressing X is how you play football. We aren’t retards, we just like video games. Moreover, Guitar Hero and Rock Band have created a huge demand of kids picking up real guitars, basses and drums for the very reason they get hooked by the game.
Yes, they said just about the same thing on NY1 this morning. The thing that’s even funnier is the flatbed truck procession. Hey man, she helped him drop all that weight. That’s love.
I agree with everything Anthony said.
You and Anthony should both go see the same anger manager then.
I don’t know why scientists would make something like that up.
You see? Never try. Never work hard. It’s for suckers and it gets you nowhere. Gravitate to an area where you are naturally dominant, and then just act however the hell you please. I love it.
The computer tech shitz was funny, yo.
I have to tell you, I think that was pretty fucking funny. You might have an idea for a book if you got some good responses. You ever read Letters From A Nut?
Word, appreciate the positive response. I will maybe try to do one craigslist post a week or something.
Wow, Medium Brother, this one is a fucking gem!
Hmmmmm…
I love the little out of left field comments like, “…regrets some things…”.
Can I get a little Digg love
http://digg.com/comedy/Guitar_Hero_Vagina_Champion
thanks
WHALE TAIL! You should make this into an ad for back pain.
No, hemorrhoids.
I don’t know what to be more disturbed about. The fact that your photo could very well have been me, as I am always catching my thong hanging out. Putting the ape in rape? Or thinking about the worlds fattest man consumating his marriage.
Brilliantly offensive and funny
I read about this Palin detail a while ago. We are not done with this monster. She’ll be in the senate before you know it.
This is such a fashion disaster. NOBODY wants to see your underwear. Buy clothes that actually FIT, you can still look sexy.
Interesting. What’s it all about, I wonder?
This is a day-maker. HA HA HA.
You know you have an amazing story on your hands when you assume you are reading an Onion article the whole time only to find out it is all true.
What these kind of people do for nerdom and gaming is the same defaming that terrorist do for Islam.
A few things. #1. Her being selected as Ujena’s model of the year or whatever doesn’t mean anything other than that she looked really good in their bikinis. No reason to hate on her about it. #2. 12-1 as a kickboxer on the international level is better than ‘decent’. It’s down right impressive. #3. If you think she is ‘manish’ you don’t like women. #4 She kicks chicks in the face for money. Do you expect her to be a ray of sunshine?
How did I miss this debate? Glad to see that it only took two posts to default to the “If you disagree about my opinion of a woman you must therefore be gay”.
Well done
Medium, who’s giving you flak? Are people emailing you?
Weird undies.
I just wanted to give you a chance to use the old blogger’s standard “deflect critizism with sarcasm”.
We all have our crutches, don’t we?
Juuuuuuuusssssssssstiiiiiiinnnnnnn…
The best burgers in the city just might be found at BLT Burger, which also has fucking-A awesome deep-fried pickle chips which must be tried at least once in a person’s lifetime.
Fuck me I am talented.
Also, don’t forget about monkey mails:
http://host-d.oddcast.com/php/start_careerbuilder/door=137&cl=49&AID=0
I have a feeling this album is going to be a big divide amongst friends and critics around the world. 15 years is a long time to anticipate an album. More than half of my lifetime was the span of this wait. I am no where near giving this an A- after my first listen but I suppose after the long wait I could muster up a couple more listens of the album. Now we get to wait for pitchfork’s review. My guess is 5.4 Post your guess, price is right rules, closest without going over.
I bet they’ll give it a 3.6
Look, also, the record is really bad but I feel like as a child of the 90s I can’t bash it.
I haven’t given the record a full listen yet, and it’s fairly obvious that what I’ve heard is lacking compared to the sounds that Izzy and Slash contributed to GnR, but this still seems far better than much of the bullshit being produced these days by current glut of fucking puss bands.
This being said, my heart goes out to Stephen Adler every time I watch Celebrity Rehab (one of the best shows on TV), and I cannot get over what Axel and Slash have done to this guy. CALL HIM, YOU BASTARDS. IS A PHONE CALL SO HARD?
So I guess he wasn’t very impressed by the whole Obama election thing.
I don’t believe you at all. SOMETHING interesting must have happened. How many people got fat? How many got thin? Who came out of the closet? Which guys are chicks now? Who fucked who? SOMETHING.
Does Jose know what home in E-town is like? Completely uninteresting.
He has a my space music page, if you’ve got the guts to take it:
http://www.myspace.com/jamesmnewton
It is impossible to pick a favorite.
I was worried you ruined the entire punchline with the title but oh man the ending is gold.
I ran hot and cold on that.
This is nice. I am happy for them.
Sorry, Michael, but you have, in fact, scarred me.
I think that is just a regular pit viper sponsored by Mountain Dew.
He does look X-treme
I am wary of all creatures who are given deadly venom without the ability to truly know whether or not other creatures mean it harm. I include man in this category, before people go all apeshit about me not having enough sympathy for all the poor, misunderstood snakes in the world.
wait, what? we have venom? How did I miss this?
Dude, how have you not realized that we have Venom? You did play with your M.A.S.K. figures alot as a child, didn’t you know that V.E.N.O.M. just wears off on you after that?
Wow. Perfect. It also nails the Steve Jobs marketing machine, and the tendency for Apple to ‘over elegant-ize’ many of the products they develop.
Not to mention the price of all Apple products.
You sure like to ski.
Words cannot describe how much I love this video.
I am merely your fool.
They should simply pay the guy a healthy amount immediately. Jesus. With your johnson left hanging out in the cold like that, and no doubt he was left repeating over and over again to the child that everything would be fine.
I think what Anthony meant to say was, ‘Words cannot describe how much I hate Mac, their fanboys and everything the company stands for.’
I remember having a college professor like this, so I guess a good education is still no guarantee…
Is it worth it to look like a fucking retard? These guys need to have a serious chat with Gary Busey.
Have you ever wondered if they are owned by the same company?
Why must the music business be such a steaming pile of shit?
Is he smoking a cigarette under all of that?
I agree with you in every way, Medium. Such nonsense.
You could have HURT yourself, Michael.
That is me motha fucka
I used to be able to play like that. Of course, the arthritis put a stop to that.
Well, then, shame on you, Tony.
Wow. Wait a few parts look sped up?
OH SNAP. Haul out the folding chair ’cause I’m ready for some intense milks. Did you see that it has a “flavor advisory?” Wow.
The local Thai’s come up with unique ways to entertain themselves at night on the beach, the fire limbo being one of them. This was taken somewhere in southern Thailand and I vaguely remember winning a free Singha for being the only foreigner willing to partake. And yeah I was smoking. Thanks for the shout Mike.
Both of these items are def not for the faint at heart.
Glad to see your a Kevin James fan, Medium. Do you want me to start calling you Admin?
I wish Hotel for Dogs had a better weekend; now that is a well thought out picture.
I have never seen it, and now I won’t. Summer Heights High, now THAT’s worth a pay per view.
I’m hesitant to admit that I liked Juno after that ferocious review. But I will anyway. And I agree with Jose, Summer Heights High is top drawer.
The part that really freaks me out is the correspondent’s voice. Seems very untrained for a CNN reporter. Can I start doing voice overs for CNN? I promise I can do better.
BTW, Medium, for a man who is himself a fan of auto racing, you sure are hard on Kevin James.
Jose, I like Formula 1 racing; the snobbish, highly scientific type. Not Nascar or Monster Truck. Kevin James sucks.
Unless you are on a board of reviewers that gives out film awards its nothing personal. I love me some shitty movies that others have a gag reflex when I mention. However they did not win one, let alone 44 god damn awards.
That movie sucked. I am ashamed to say I saw it, Hamburglar Jones.
I think “The Gate” got better reviews after this review of “Juno”. jeepers…
So I guess I can kiss goodbye my dreams of screwing a raccoon forever. Life is so unfair.
The problem with even calling it out is that we are all guilty of this on some level. hairstyles, facial hair, sneakers, wildly uncomfortable jeans, bad bands, horrible beer…hell, some people even buy a camera simply because their friends have one.
I remember in Jr. High, I owned TWO pairs of parachute pants, left my high tops untied, and wore a bandanna around one ankle. Sometimes I couldn’t even pull it together enough for a bandanna and ended up tying a dinner napkin around my ankle. And if I had to do it over again, I would.
My current guilt is the wallet chain, I suppose. Oh well. At least it’s functional. I never have a worry on the roller coaster.
You can’t be serious. WORST COMPARISON EVER award is yours forever, Medium. Clinton’s blow job did not take and old man’s pension away. It did not strip the health care benefits from a family of 5. It didn’t take the beds out from under innocent renters.
Look, I couldn’t give a flying fuck how wonderfully ambitious these people are. Whatever happened to “With great power comes great responsibility”? These men are criminals, and they deserve the punishment of criminals, just like any poor criminal.
There is no room on the planet for elitism. Plenty of wealthy and powerful people act responsibly. There is no excuse.
It’s like at the end of Spiderman 2, when Doc-Oc realizes he’s become a monster and to prevent the destruction of the whole city, he drowns while taking down that giant ball of energy (Uncle Ben would have been so proud).
A suitable punishment would be forcing these clowns to be on American Gladiators. Then we could see Wolf scare some sense into them.
Hey, is that F Murray Abraham? Cool.
Damn. I forgot about this movie. Good review. Unfortunately for the entire cinema going population the only thing Wes Snipes might be dropping anymore is the soap.
This picture reminds me of superman’s fortress.
Very nice. Looks like all your hard work has finally paid off, Medium. You are one hell of a promoter. Cool song, btw.
Good points, Medium. Have you seen, however, the Converse One Star line at Target? They look pretty cool, but truly cost just as much as any other converse shoe, so why Target? Wouldn’t they sell more in Athlete’s foot or something?
My personal gripe is the exclusivity deals. I’m not sure how it helps anybody.
Big Valient Thorr fan here. Sorry i won’t see them play.
Very bizarre. Something bad has happened.
Valient Thorr this evening in Brooklyn, for anyone interested.
Always into more/bigger/better bike paths.
Wish I could be there drinking beer with you. Also, excellent reference on Ski Patrol! I watched that movie at least 50 times in my salad days. Little known facts about the cast – Paul Feig, who plays Stanley, went on to create ‘Freaks and Geeks’. I believe that quote you posted was by the character Suicide, who went on to play the drunk in the classic Bohemian Rhapsody segment of Wayne’s World. George Lopez is still not very funny.
I agree with Ian. George Lopez is not very funny.
Last night on Dirty Jobs they visited a suet producer and joined in on the process. If you don’t know, one use for suet is as a hi-grade bird feed, and in this case was made from beef kidney fat and maggots. I challenge any human to take a large bite of bird suet. I’ll pay for the hospital bill (no I won’t).
You sound like the type of fellow who goes with his gut. Keep it up. Working for free is usually a good way in the door, but once your in the room you need to be paid. Or at least smash some stuff.
Come on Chemung County! You know you can be a darker shade than that.
I would bet money that this guy is a bro.
Cool jellyfish.
I started out thinking you were probably being too harsh on this somewhat smelly woman, but by the time I finished with the article I pretty much agreed with you on everything.
Building jellyfish tanks IS pretty badass.
Although the Stewart interview was a little uncomfortable at times, I am really glad he did it and was so informed on the topic. For this Zucker cunt to come out and just dismiss it as mocking is brain dead. Stewart’s questions were incredibly poignant and need to be asked in more places than just The Daily Show.
That photo album is a who’s who of people who need to be firebombed.
Ugh–hate Wayfarers. Always have. Also, I uncharitably think that people who try so hard with fashion conceal that they have little of real substance to offer.
I never said I COULD be a model! I said if I could, I WOULD be a HAND model. Big difference.
I am 5′10″.
Weiermiller met Tyson a couple years back and said he’s 5′10″ tops, so your friend Jose shouldn’t give up on his dream just yet.
I hope the company you work for and/or the companies your company works for doesn’t read this. Now is not the ideal time to be job hunting.
You’re looking good these days.
could always go work for Nike after that, brown-nose much lately?
Are you threatening me?
It’s catchy.
agreed.
a cancer in a bad place is the insight in a good place.
cheers to that.
also, i don’t like cubicles…
well said. The picture of the brookylnite gave me an idea. What about a game where you look at a picture of a hipster (or any other recognizable type: disco-guy, fireman, jihadist, etc.) and pick out what is out of place. For example, if this guy had boot cut jeans, you would certainly flag it. This game already exists for kids but could sell to a-holes who go to the store under my apt. An off-shoot would be having lots of puzzle-piece clothing items and being timed while creating a certain type of person. let’s say you pull “Suburban Jock” and you need to put a polo, etc. (or whatever these kids wear nowadays) on the character. You could also use these to create new styles. Again, this exists for kids – girls creating dresses or something – but would sell to adolescent-type adults.
I would like to point out that the awful yuppies ruined our dear friend Medium Happiness’s birthday dinner. Happy birthday Medium Happiness! Sorry for my poor selection of tables that sat us next to those egomaniacs.
I recently dropped my iPhone in the toilet. Is there an app for that?
Kudos Anth, for the quick wit on that one.
Don’t forget Aperol – still nice and bitter, but a little lighter for summer sipping.
you’re winding up too much.. don’t bring the club so high. Half as high, even…
I listened to the first 50 seconds. I couldn’t take it. So sorry, Medium.
the first guy is wearing flip flops too. The pool one is amazing.
Critical mass is a joke. “Lets show how big of assholes cars can be, by being huge assholes.” It should be legal to fire guns into those crowds of hipster sheeple.
“Yes, it’s a cool place to live; but do not consider moving there if you’re an amenities/fancy restaurant/bar whore or feel uncomfortable being a minority in a neighborhood.” – if you want that come live by me… http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=Pilling+St,+Brooklyn,+NY+11207&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=40.86791,85.78125&ie=UTF8&ll=40.685324,-73.912582&spn=0.076671,0.167542&z=13
“Yes, it’s a cool place to live; but do not consider moving there if you’re an amenities/fancy restaurant/bar whore or feel uncomfortable being a minority in a neighborhood.” – yeah, if you want that, come out and live by me… http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=Pilling+St,+Brooklyn,+NY+11207&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=40.86791,85.78125&ie=UTF8&ll=40.685324,-73.912582&spn=0.076671,0.167542&z=13
Thank you so much for this. I live in NYC and play in a band which is so far from Vivian Girls it’s ridiculous.
People here hate us. The local media hates us. And they love The Vivian Girls.
We have some international fans, despite being very new, yet we’ll never break through NYC. It’s sad how utterly pretentious this scene is.
“paint with a broad stroke” “female politicos”
nice pun
THANK YOU. I often do the Metro crosswords during my lunch breaks and find my eyes wandering to the Opinions section-a section to which, unfortunately, McPhee is a frequent contributor.
Let’s not even get into the fact that McPhee often makes untrue statements with no way of backing them up (i.e. “the French president with whom he checked out a teenager’s rear-end at an environmental conference in Italy” – referring to a situation that was resolved when people watched the video and realized that a photographer happened to catch Obama at a moment where he was reaching to help the girl down the stairs). THE WOMAN CANNOT WRITE. Her columns are constantly riddled with grammatical errors, and I often find myself having to reread her convoluted sentences in order to understand what she is saying. She is possibly my LEAST favorite writer and it baffles me that any publication devotes ink to her inane and incoherent writing.
if those goddamn lazy kids would pick up after themselves they might not need a roomba.
I love the round, startled eyes of the woman on screen when she hears the vulgarity!
I love the GI Joe reference in ‘Knowing is half the battle,’ but you must realize that salmon are amazing in their ability to travel long distances (for example from here to Japan and back) and be able to find their way back to their original breeding ‘grounds’ each year, with incredible accuracy. And ’scientists’ for years have not only inferred this, they know it by means of implanted radio transmitters in the fish. It’s nuts, but true. Check it out! Pretty cool stuff…
He worked throughout his entire childhood to be the golfer that is was (is?) today. He is the f’n man. He gave more of his money to charity (percentage-wise) than any golfer EVER. That’s a hero, regardless of his personal problems/battles.
The active ingredients are actually different. The activite ingredient for Secret clinical is TRICHLOROHYDREX and the Mitchum ingredient is TERACHLOROHYDREX. I just thought I’d point that out, although these two ingredients probably don’t differ much.
sounds like horrendous bands I played in when I was in 5th grade, but with chick vocalists.
GTFO
I could see Gob doing a reenactment of this. The music he plays at some of his magic shows would be a good fit.
That was before he started the first hole.
This is why I heart baseball.
Good for cankles? Desire to emulate horse hooves?
Gruesome. Bizarre tan lines to come.
While going for a walk? Does that mean that they were on a leash? I’d hate to be the personal assistant that had to explain that.
“the most slippery, troublesome figures in contemporary art”
???????????????????????????????????????
It’s nice to be away from this shite!
my name is Michael and I have a suit fetish…
Going on 28 years and have yet to own a suit. Thanks hand me downs and TH hook ups.
Some of these scenes gave me the chills (in a good way). 4 months ’til Utah!
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